Tropical Fruit

Surrounded In Blue

2012-01-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

Day 11- Something Blue

Stop! In The Name Of Love

2012-01-10T11:56:00.000-08:00

Day 10- A Childhood Memory

My step-dad bought me this record when I was 10.

Best Man For The Job

2012-01-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

Day 9- Someone You Love

Nail Biter

2012-01-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

Day 8- A Bad Habit

Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana?

2012-01-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

Day 7- Fruit

Under Attack

2012-01-06T06:39:00.000-08:00

Day 6- From A Low Angle

Looking Down On Me

2012-01-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

Day 5- From A High Angle

Battle Of The Green

2012-01-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

Day 4- Something Green

Over The Roof

2012-01-03T10:32:00.000-08:00

Day 3- Clouds

There haven't been many this week. It has been so pretty and warm.

Everyday Wear

2012-01-02T22:28:00.000-08:00

Day 2- What You Wore Today

Today and everyday....

Strategically Placed

2012-01-01T17:25:00.000-08:00

Day 1- Self Portrait

Not a great one. But there it is.

Auld Lang Syne

2011-12-31T19:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I missed. I didn't do every day in December. Sorry. I made it through most of it. And now it's over. Tomorrow brings a new year. And for a new year.... Let's give this a try...

I got this from Red Lotus Mama who got from Razing Mayhem who got it from Pintrest...

Anyways, I think I will try it.

Starting tomorrow.

Tonight, Carolynn has her boyfriend Artie visiting. They are playing games and eating food. And waiting for the New Year. I am determined to make it.

A Peanut Christmas

2011-12-28T09:42:00.000-08:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday here.

Knott's Berry Farm
December 2011

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

2011-12-25T22:17:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to you all!

We had a pretty great day. Once I got home from work, and showered, we started the fun. We had ham in the oven. David had baked a a pie. It smelled so good when I got home.

Then came presents. The girls were surrounded by the goods. Piles of all they could possibly want for Christmas. Catherine got a great new telescope for Christmas. We got it set up and froze our butts off outside looking at stars and stuff. We saw Jupiter. It looked like a pitted ball with a small orange dot. It was so cool.

Carolynn got a variety of cool games and clothes. David too. Gena and Robbie got me a cool new Disneyland game for Kinect. I can't wait to try it.

Gena and Robbie went home after dinner. In the end it was a pretty awesome Christmas.

T'was The Night Before Christmas

2011-12-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Little Drummer Boy

2011-12-23T18:26:00.000-08:00

A Day In The Life

One fabulous morning I was working in control. It was time for the AM Census Check. There is no inmate movement during this time. Also, at this time, on that day, the power on the outside doors to the units had quit working. Only on one side of the compound. They were already working to fix it and I was helping by pushing the open and close buttons when told.

On the other side of the compound, where doors worked, an inmate was some how in the sallyport of a unit... Stuck between the inner door to the unit and the outer door, which I control. There is a door buzzer to let me know someone is waiting. He pushed it. I told him I would not let him out as there was no move at that time. Apparently, for the same reason, the unit officer would not let him in either. He was in the middle of his census check.

But that inmate would not quit. He continued to press the button. Over and over. And over.

And he got more and more belligerent. He called me every name in the book. I tried to ignore him, but because I had no choice but to sit there and help with the broken doors, I had to keep hearing the door alarm.

The lieutenant came into control to give us some information and I tell him about the button pusher in the unit sallyport. He gets on the intercom, identifies himself as the lieutenant and tells him to knock it off. The inmate starts yelling at the lieutenant because he thinks it is still me.

The lieutenant sends compound out to pick him up and take him to the officer for a little chat... And a trip to the special housing unit.

*************************

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

A Christmas Carolynn

2011-12-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

*************************
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

It's Christmas Time In The City

2011-12-21T18:12:00.001-08:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday posts here.

Christmas At Town Hall
Apple Valley, California
December 2011

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A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes- How they twinkled! His dimples- How merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

2011-12-20T18:08:00.000-08:00

After the last two days of work, I really needed a day off. So today I am enjoying my day.

I slept in all I wanted. I got up and watched Home Alone and did lots of holiday baking.

For dinner, we got some Jack In The Box. Tacos and burgers! Yay!

Best. Day. Ever.

*************************
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

Joy To The World

2011-12-19T19:31:00.000-08:00

These last two days at work have been brutal. BRUTAL! I am still battling this sickness. I am still getting used to the new schedule. I have been incredibly busy getting ready for the holiday. When I got home from work today, I went right to bed and slept for hours. David brought me tacos to make me feel better.

The best part is...

Now I have two whole days off. YAY!

*************************
So up to the house top the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys, and St. Nickolas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

2011-12-18T22:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight we went to our annual “Christmas Ornament Exchange”. Sometimes we do it at our house, but this year we did it at Chris and Sherri's house. We had a great time. We made homemade pizza. Sherri made this fabulous vegetable barley soup. Mary baked pumpkin bread. I was full after that.

We got some pretty great ornaments. I got some glittery hearts. Carolynn got a cool Glee ornament, which she hung on the wall in her room. Catherine got a fun rhino ornament.

We had a great time.

*************************
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky;

You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch

2011-12-17T15:22:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday night, I was feeling kind of sick. I stayed on the couch and refused to move for fear of the imminent tossing of my cookies. I went to bed early and I slept until 2 Wednesday afternoon. When I got up, I thought I was better. So I went to work, despite David's objections. (Who uses sick days for actual sick?) Of course, by 6 I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. I couldn't understand why I felt so tired. And no food sounded good. When I got off work at midnight, I went right to bed.

I had to get up early on Thursday. The girls had to be at school before 8:00 am. I felt okay. I went to the school. I bought a donut from Carolynn's class fundraiser. Then I came home and went right back to bed. I got up just in time to go to work. Against David's wishes....

Yesterday, I slept in and was really feeling better. So I made us a nice lunch of pasta and garlic bread. Then off to work I went.

Bad idea.

Even the inmates kept saying I didn't look too good. I was all flushed. It felt so hot in there. Inmates were all bundled up complaining of the cold. I felt like death. The thought of garlic bread was making me feel like I might have to see it again.

So today I finally said no, I am staying home and resting.

I still feel tired. All food still sounds like a bad idea. I had some toast.

Stupid.

*************************
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name:
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!

10 Lords A-Leaping

2011-12-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

A Day In The Life

Some days people just feel like pushing my buttons.

Inmates were up and down wanting in and out all morning. Hello jerks, we have move times and I am not your personal door person.

They took their sweet time locking down for count at 9:45 am (It must have been a weekend.)

Then, during count, the jerks were not standing. Nope, they were sleeping. They had their lights off. They had towels hanging from their bunks covering so I couldn't see.

Fine.

I wrote 15 incident reports.

Inmates were shocked.

Apparently, never in their many years of incarceration, had some rogue officer dared to insist they follow rules.

I just laughed.

*************************
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

Run Over By A Reindeer...

2011-12-15T18:33:00.000-08:00

Or something like that.

David finished his final for his animation class. It is quite awesome.

*************************
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

Little Saint Nick

2011-12-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday posts here.

Random Stuff Around The Neighborhood
Apple Valley, California
November 2011

*************************
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap;

Here Comes Santa Claus

2011-12-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday David and I went and did most of our major shopping for the holiday. We shopped all day. Shopped til we dropped. It was fun. We started with the mall. Our mall isn't that great, but it has what we needed.

First, we did lunch. David got a slice of pizza and I got some Japanese food at Edo Japan. (The line at the Panda Express was too long.) It was so good. I had never eaten there before. It is more expensive than Panda Express, but the food is worth it. I like it better. I can't believe I have been missing out.

Then it was on to the shopping. We saw our good friends Adrienne and Serenity doing their shopping. Adrienne's engagement ring looks so beautiful. They are a fabulous couple.

Anyway, we went to Sears, J.C. Penney, Barnes and Noble, Toys R Us, Claire's, Hot Topic (It's scary in there!)and a few more. David got a new ornament in the Hallmark store. It goes with this video...

I love it.

Then we came home. We barely got in the door and the girls were ready to go shopping. David was all shopped out, so I took the girls to Denny's for dinner and then to Target.

Then we did the grocery shopping. That is a lot of money spent.

But it was fun.

Today we are doing some Christmas baking. Chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter cookies are done. So are mini loaves of banana bread. Sugar cookie dough and gingerbread cookie dough are chilling in the refrigerator. My special sweet Chex Mix is cooling on the counter. And Mexican chicken and rice is on the stove for dinner tonight. I probably should go to the gym to offset this.

*************************
T'was the night before Christmas,when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

Blue Christmas

2011-12-12T22:55:00.000-08:00

Last week we finally got our Christmas decorations up. A bunch of our lights were out, and all we had were blue lights. So it's a Blue Christmas for us.

We had a good time getting all of our favorite ornaments out and hanging all the fun stuff up.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

2011-12-11T07:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Catherine's tae kwon do had a Chritmas party. David and the girls got to go. I hade to work, as usual. (As a matter of fact, I am working 16 hours today.) They had a great time. The demo team showed off their skills. The instructors performed. There was plenty of food and fun. Catherine took some video. Enjoy.

Away In A Manger

2011-12-10T10:56:00.001-08:00

I finished reading Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. I loved it. I loved the way the people were portrayed. She did amazing research. The story was of a veterinarian. His parents are killed in a tragic car accident and he accidentally, in his despair, hops a circus train. With no better options, he stays. The man who operates the circus is evil. The man who is in charge of the animals is a nut. He falls for the animal guy's wife, a circus performer. It's a little predictable, but still good. The whole story is told from the vet's point of view as he is an old man in a nursing home and a circus comes to town there causing his to think about this. It goes back and forth between the old guy at the nursing home and his memories of the circus.

I have seen the previews for the movie they made of this book, and I just don't get how they got that movie from that book. Doesn't make sense to me. I guess I will have to watch it and see.

Speaking of books into movies...

I watched the movie P.S. I Love You. I liked the book, but the movie was lame. They made too many changes.

Also, I gave up on A Game of Thrones. I made it half way... I just couldn't get into it. David read the whole series and loved them.

Do You Hear What I Hear

2011-12-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

A Day In The Life

One afternoon I was walking down the sidewalk. Just inside the yard fence, two inmates are walking along just behind me. I am heading to the gate to stand by as the inmates return from the yard to their housing units.

I heard one of the inmates say something behind me. It's not something good. It something to the effect of “shake that ass”. So I turn around and look at him. He stops.

I continue walking. Again, I hear him. “Shake that ass. Do it just for me. You know how I like it.”

Really?

I turn around again. Again, he stops. I ask him what his problem is. He says there is no problem.

I walk further. Just as he hits the fence so her has to turn away from me, he does it one more time.

I yell at him to quit that. He ignores me.

I walk down to the gate and wait for him.

He comes out of the yard and I immediately direct him towards the lieutenants office. On the way there I run into the lieutenant who says to take him directly to the Special Housing Unit. We get to the hallway that leads to the Special Housing Unit and a couple of guys take him the rest of the way. He starts yelling he didn't do anything. He calls me a bitch and a bunch of other stuff.

An hour or so later, he tries to convince a case manager it was a mistake. She comes and speaks to me about it. I tell her that I don't think it is a mistake. He said those things and he has a history of sexual proposal to staff as well as exposing himself or masturbating at staff.

A few days later, I was working in the Special Housing Unit. That same inmate starts telling me that I made a huge mistake sending him to SHU. He claims he wasn't talking to me. He didn't even notice me he says. He was just walking along singing a Little Wayne song.

I tell him that even if that was true, he was singing a Little Wayne song, he did so notice me. I turned and spoke to him several times. He should have known that in that environment that was not the time nor place to be singing that kind of song. He should have known better.

Later that same afternoon, he and another inmate are outside in a rec cage and the two of them try to convince me that he was singing a Little Wayne song. I tell them I don't care.

A few days later, I get an email from the disciplinary officer. He says he spoke to the inmate about the incident report I wrote and the inmate is claiming I said I would take it back.

I said no such thing.

A few days after that I got an email from the SHU lieutenant asking me the same thing.

Again, no.

Perhaps he should have sung a better song.

Babes In Toyland

2011-12-08T14:30:00.001-08:00

Thursday Thirteen

I haven't done one of these in forever. But I just don't have much to say today. So here is a list of thirteen things I want for Christmas. I probably won't get any of it because I can't afford it. But hey, a girl can dream.

1. Book- The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
2. A Super Fancy Camera- Maybe a Nikon :)
3. A New Car- Not picky on what kind
4. Socks- I never have enough socks. Mostly because Carolynn steals them.
5. New Living Room Furniture
6. Cash
7. Book- The Help
8. iPhone 4S
9. Jammies
10. 2nd Gen iPad
11. A New House
12. A Vacation
13. Disneyland Passes

Winter Wonderland

2011-12-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

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Winter In My Neighborhood
November 2011
Apple Valley, California

All I Want For Christmas

2011-12-06T23:17:00.001-08:00

Catherine and I began our holiday baking extravaganza today. So far we have chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter cookies. We plan on several more kinds of cookies. We are making mini loaves of pumpkin bread and banana nut bread. We are making mini cupcakes in our homemade shipping boxes. We need to get these things done so we can get them shipped to people for the holidays.

I got most of my Christmas cards ready to go. I just have to pick up some stamps.

Most of the items I purchased online over Black Friday weekend have arrived and been wrapped. If I don't wrap right away, I get snoopers.

What are your favorite holiday treats? Cookies? What kind? Let us know. We might get some new ideas. Or if we know you, we might make you some.

O Come All Ye Faithful

2011-12-05T23:11:00.001-08:00

The bathtub in the master bath has never been quite to my liking. The stopper never quite worked. You could start to fill it up, but it was still slowly draining. So taking a long hot bath was never an option. The other bathroom didn't have that problem. But that is the girls' bathroom and it usually a mess and Catherine is probably playing with Pokemon in there anyway. Who can relax in a Pokemon filled tub, in a bathroom covered with clothes and someone's wet swimsuit always hanging up in there?

Some time last year the overfill drain in my bathtub just fell off. (My house is old.) Then there was a huge hole in my bathtub. Another thing not too appealing to a relaxing tub time.

Then the girls' bathtub stopped draining right. All their showers were baths. No matter how much Drano and Liquid Plumber I tried. Of course, some time a couple of months ago their shower broke. And only bath's were available. Bath's that took an hour to drain.

Sweet. Now the Pokemon and Carolynn junk had moved to my bathroom.

Of course, in my bathroom you couldn't even brush your teeth. The sink didn't drain right. I tried the same products I had tried on the tub. No dice.

This house is so old.

I bugged the rental agency and finally, this morning they sent a plumber.

In the space of 30 minutes, he unclogged my sink and the girls' bathtub. He fixed the shower in there too. He replaced the overflow in my tub and also replaced the stopper.

OMG!

Calgon, take me away.

It Came Upon the Midnight Clear

2011-12-04T12:37:00.001-08:00

Catherine started this project in August. I thought for sure she would have killed it by now. But no. It's multiplying. They are everywhere. The original plant has gotten huge.

She took one of the first babies to my dad in Fresno. But all the rest are here.

Taking over the kitchen window.

Catherine has plans to take one to Chris and Sherri. I am sure Mary and Tonya would be glad to have one. But the rest...

TAKE THEM! TAKE THEM NOW!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2011-12-03T07:19:00.001-08:00

Two things I really wish I had when I have to get up in the morning.

1. A heater that turned itself on about 15 minutes before my alarm goes off. That way I don't have to get out of my nice warm bed into a freezing cold house.

2. A dryer that turned itself on about the same time so I could put on nice warm clothes.

It's not so bad right now, since I don't have to be at work until 4. Unless, like today, I am working 16 and have to be to work at 8:00 am. But in a couple of weeks the schedule changes at work and I will have to start being to work at 6:00 am. That is going to make for some very cold mornings.

Well, I am off to 16 hours in prison. Wish me luck.

Seven Swans A-Swimming

2011-12-02T12:16:00.001-08:00

I was working one evening in the best Special Housing Unit in the universe. I was working outside as the recreation officer. When I first got there, I was trying to get an inmate to come inside and he decided to jam the gate. He used a Metamucil bottle full of rocks. Where he got rocks, I have no idea. How he got the bottle of rocks out to the rec cage... Well, it was hot. Inmates often take a cup out to the rec cage to drink. We provide water out there, they bring the cups. Cups and handballs are the only things they are supposed to bring out there with them. Sometimes, if they don't have a cup available they use peanut butter jars or coffee containers. Those are clear. Metamucil bottles are not clear.

Eventually we got him to remove the bottle and come out. We confiscated the bottle of rocks and he was escorted back to his cell.

Anyway, back to me. I was watching over the recreation area and letting inmates in and out. They brought out two Native American inmates. One was carrying a coffee container full of water. The other was carrying a Metamucil bottle. Learning from earlier, I asked to see what was in the bottle. He tells me it's water. I ask him to please open the container and let me see.

He says no.

I again ask him to open the bottle.

He says it's just water. And tells me to leave him alone.

I refuse to allow him into the recreation area until he shows me what is inside the bottle.

(You can see where this I going, right?)

So he opens his bottle and pours it right on my front.

Yep.

So I am soaked. I go into the lieutenants office and he asks me what happened. I tell him and we both go back to the recreation area where that inmate is waiting.

The lieutenant asks him why he did that. The inmate decides to demonstrate what he did the first time. He still had a little water left in the bottle. So he poured that on me too.

He was escorted back to his cell and I wrote him up so assault without injury.

And then I sat outside and dried off.

The First Noel

2011-12-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

Well, we did it. With the help of Carolynn and Catherine, we wrote 30 posts in 30 days! Now, can we continue this trend? Can we keep up the momentum?

Sure, why not?

Catherine and I have some good posts coming up. Carolynn might even get a few in. She is going to the town tree lighting on Saturday to take pictures for her current school project. Carolynn's tae kwon do studio is having a holiday party in a couple of weeks so there will be pictures of that too.

There should be so much fun holiday activities to talk about and photograph. Doesn't that sound like fun?

And of course, there will be some great prison related stories. Be careful of penises in the windows.

See you tomorrow.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-30T08:52:00.000-08:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday posts here.

Autumn In My Neighborhood
Apple Valley, California
November 2011

Running Out Of Ideas

2011-11-29T15:22:00.001-08:00

Well, we are down to the last couple of days of NaBloPoMo and I am running on low. I have a bunch of work posts ready to go, but I don't like to do more than one of those a week. The rest of the time I like to pretend I don't work in a prison.

Catherine has a Wordless Wednesday ready for tomorrow to finish off the month. Then she decided we should try and do it for all of December too. We are going to try and do it and give all of our posts titles of holiday songs and movies. We shall see how far along we get before we just run out of ideas. She has two more Wordless Wednesday posts coming after tomorrow too.

We have been so busy around here I am running out of time for things. Only three more weeks and I go back to a normal person's schedule and this place will be running a lot better. It's hard to get in a good routine when you work all nights.

Holiday baking is coming. There is eggnog in the fridge. (Not that I will drink it, because ewww. But Catherine loves it.) Soon it will be time for decorating and presents under the tree. I have done most of my shopping online this year so far.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading this nonsense and for continuing to come back for more nonsense.

Until next time...

A Guinea Pig Life

2011-11-28T14:07:00.001-08:00

One morning, on July 12, 2012, there was a guinea pig named Ginny. She has been living with us for 10 months. She was just eating her cabbage when a sneaky, little, fluffy, gray kitty named Muffins, comes and smacks her around a bit because she looks like a neat little cat toy. Being the pig Ginny is, she doesn't move because she doesn't want to leave her food.

“Hey! Stop it! I'm eating here!” squeaks Ginny.

“Oh, come on! I just want to play with you. I won't hurt you.” Muffins meowed sarcastically.

“Yeah,” said a small, black and tan cat named Two-face. “We won't hurt you.” She is called Two-face because half of her face is black and the other is tan.

“Sure, you will stop hurting me, as soon as I stop eating this delicious hay. Now go away or I will squeal and you will get thrown down the hallway...Again!” laughed Ginny.

“Fine, we will leave, but know this. We will get you, someday.” said Two-face forcefully.

“You say that every time, just go.” Ginny said annoyed. So, they padded down the hall like the spoiled kitty brats they are. Finally, with Ginny now alone, she continued to eat her cabbage.

The next day, around 9:00 AM, Ginny was sitting on her ledge, eating some hay, when she heard the dreadful noise of the back door. That meant that the big, crazy, lab-mastiff mix dog came inside. Her name is Bubbles. Bubbles thinks of Ginny as a moving chew toy. Luckily, Ginny is safe inside her cage and is not allowed to be outside of it when Bubbles is inside.

When we first got Ginny, on my twelfth birthday, Bubbles was always like a statue, staring into her cage, hoping the cage door will magically open and she can chew up the guinea pig inside. It's a good thing she stopped staring at Ginny, but she still goes crazy whenever Ginny is running around outside of her cage, while Bubbles is outside in the backyard with her face pressed against the window.

One day ,around noon, I had Ginny in my lap while I was sitting on my bed, and someone let in the dogs. As soon as Bubbles got in the house she ran down the hall, saw me and leap on top of me and almost stole my pig. But before she could, Two-face jumps down from my top bunk and ran down the hall and of course Bubbles had to chase her. Later that evening Two-face was walking past my room and Ginny called to her. “Thank you, you crazy cat.”

Two-face stopped and quietly mewed “Your welcome, you silly pig.” And she walked away without another word.

Coke For Dinner

2011-11-27T08:42:00.000-08:00

This is what you're going to do.

First, you're going to go to the store and buy some pork roast, (about 2 lbs) some BBQ sauce (1 bottle), and some Coke. Next, you're going to put that pork roast in the crock pot and pour in a can of Coke. Let that cook for about 6 or 7 hours. Then drain off the Coke. Shred up the pork with some forks. Then pour on the sauce. Stir it around, heat it through and serve it on a bun.

And it is awesome.

Make yourself some macaroni salad and some baked beans and you got one heck of a dinner.

Unless your name is Gena.

Then you don't like BBQ sauce or beans. But you can drink an entire 12 pack of Coke in one day.

Oh well.

Black Friday

2011-11-26T14:24:00.001-08:00

I never went shopping on Black Friday. I always had to work or something. But this year, I got off at midnight anyway, so I figured I would see what it was all about and maybe pick up some good deals for Christmas.

Carolynn came with me because she figured she could get some good pictures for her current class project. David came too because he was concerned for our safety.

We went to the Wal-Mart. There was a line just to get in the store. There were police everywhere. It was crazy. We saw some swim moms there ready to tackle their shopping. They had a plan. I didn't have a plan. I should have had a plan. It should have been to stay home.

After about 20 minutes we finally get inside the store. It was a madhouse. The lines to check out stretched all the way to the back of the store. People had carts loaded with multiple TV's and all sorts of stuff. We went off in search of what we wanted. We found nothing. It had all been picked clean.

We left defeated. We didn't even try to brave the Target. We were scared for our lives.

A Day In The Life

2011-11-25T07:59:00.000-08:00

Thankful For The Little Things

The other day an inmate stopped by my office. (It was this inmate, so I was prepared for anything.) He tells me he has a lot of things to be thankful this Thanksgiving.

He is thankful that he will enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner there in prison when there are plenty of law abiding citizens out there that will not get that luxury.

He is thankful that he did not receive the death penalty for the crime he was convicted of. (I believe it was murder.)

He is thankful he lives in America because in other countries when you get convicted of something like that, they kill you right away.

And finally, he is thankful for the opportunity to appeal.

He also informed me that he is starting his own mob because he likes the family camaraderie. And he'll be changing his name to Rico Soprano.

I am thankful that my job affords me so many interesting stories.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T13:17:00.001-08:00

It doesn't feel like Thanksgiving to me though. I have to work tonight. So we had our Thanksgiving on Tuesday. But it didn't feel like Thanksgiving then either. We still had stuff to do. The world wasn't on Thanksgiving time. Catherine and David had tae kwon do. I had an appointment with the personal trainer at the gym. We enjoyed the morning. We played Monopoly and roasted the turkey. We made all the sides the day before. We ate a fabulous meal. But after that, we all went off to our various activities. Sherri and Taylor came over to enjoy a little Thanksgiving food with us in the evening. And we sent some pie to Chris who wasn't feeling well.

Speaking of pie, this was my first attempt at baking a pie from scratch. And I burnt the first one. Black. But luckily, the second pie came out delicious.

Today, we are relaxing. We made some turkey with rice with leftover turkey. We planned our Black Friday strategy. I get off at midnight, just in time to shop.

Robbie and Gena supposedly are coming this weekend. We are going to make them some BBQ pork sandwiches and a pie for Robbie. (Gena, like her brother, doesn't eat pie.)

I hope you all are having a fabulous Thanksgiving. Think of me tonight while you eat your pie. I'll b spending my night with inmates. Awesome.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-23T08:38:00.000-08:00

For more Wordless Wednesday posts, click here.

Thanksgiving Decorations
November 2011
Apple Valley, California

How Hard Can It Be?

2011-11-22T22:16:00.001-08:00

I mentioned yesterday that the girls and I were trying some yarn work. We got both crochet hooks and a book and knitting needles and a book as well as several small balls of yarn.

We went over the directions. We watched videos. We had this.

After 24 hours of frustration and hard work...

After all the videos and all the careful examination of diagrams and directions...

We have a knotted ball of yarn.

I just don't get it.

Fail

2011-11-21T23:55:00.000-08:00

So today was supposed to be our Thanksgiving. However, I scheduled everything thinking I had a 10-11 lb turkey. It was 16 lbs. So we postponed it until tomorrow.

I tried to bake my first ever pumpkin pie from scratch. I burnt it. Well, the crust was burnt to black, the filling was still liquid.

The girls and I tried to learn to crochet. Inmates can do it, we can too. No, we can't. Seriously. No.

So we thought maybe knitting would be cool. No, no it was not.

I almost forgot to post something. NaBloPoMo fail. OMG!

So, how was your day?

Obsession

2011-11-20T14:27:00.001-08:00

Right before Catherine's birthday, she decided that for her birthday she wanted scrapbooking stuff. She never did scrapbooking before but she likes art stuff so it made some sense. Everyone got her scrapbook stuff for her birthday. Especially my dad who works in a craft store and went crazy. She has made a ton of scrapbook pages. She has a whole scrapbook devoted just to her guinea pig.

So I decided to try it too.

And now I can't stop.

I made this page with pictures of my sister's visit.

These are my Carolynn and Catherine pages.

Here are some pages I made at Halloween.

Even Carolynn got in on it. She is sitting at the table scrapbooking right now.

The Christmas Wedding

2011-11-19T13:48:00.001-08:00

I got my first book for my Nook on iPad. Well, I got it on accident. I didn't know that Barnes and Noble just let you purchase things without confirming your purchase.

But anyway, I finished it this morning and I really enjoyed it. I liked the convenience of having it available where ever I went. I took it to the gym and read it on the treadmill. I took it to tae kwon do and read it while waiting for David and Catherine. It was nice.

I didn't like that when I finished it, I couldn't lend it to someone else who might enjoy it. I didn't like that I couldn't take it to work with me.

Anyways, the book was The Christmas Wedding by James Patterson. I really enjoyed it. It was a about an older woman who had lost her husband and hadn't seen enough of her kids since his passing. She has a few good male friends who wish to become her new hubby and she agrees. They plan this elaborate wedding to lure the family to gather on Christmas and she won't tell them who she is marrying.

Anyway, I loved the story and I even got a bit teary eyed.

I am still reading A Game Of Thrones. I have been stuck at about half way through for a while. I just can't seem to get into it. David keeps promising that it will get better. Of course he thinks the whole series is amazing.

A Day In The Life

2011-11-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

Makes Me Wonder...

I came across this email one day. It is from an inmate to what I can only assume is a lawyer or legal person of some sort.

Did you get the mesage about my request for you to file a motion to the court asking that I be allowed to wear my court clothing while in prison for the purposes of my executive presense.

First of all note the misspelled "message" and "presence". Then note that while this appears to be a question, it does not end with a question mark.

And then ask yourself this..

WHY?

Really? Do you really think that is going to work out for you? Are you really going to clog our court system with that triviality?

Yes, yes he is.

This is one of the many reasons I find my job to be so freaking hilarious.

Tall Boy's Block

2011-11-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

I am not a fan of rap music. Really. I like some. Usually some older stuff. I like Eminem. But really, I am just not a fan.

I have a friend who is a rapper. He has a little fan base going. He's written some songs. He even recorded some of them. He is very ambitious. He has done some performances. He has a really cute logo.

He's has hats and shirts made with it. He's not a bad looking guy. And to top it all off, he is a really nice guy. That is the best part.

We got to talking one day and he discovered that I like computers and websites and stuff. He asked me to help him build a cool website for his music. So I did.

I had fun. I learned a whole bunch. With my help, he purchased a domain name, subscribed to a web-host, and purchased a cool template. I put it all together (with David's help) and I have been maintaining it for him. I have also been maintaining his Facebook, My Space and Twitter. It's kind of fun. And I know he appreciates my help.

So if your a rap fan, check out my friend Tall Boy's website at www.tallboy100block.com. Even if your not a rap fan, check out the site and see how I did. I even have a custom email there for website feedback: jennifer@tallboy100block.com.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday posts here.

Game Night
November 2011
Apple Valley, California

Check out more of Carolynn's photography on Flickr.

Like The Sunrise

2011-11-15T16:09:00.001-08:00

Last night, after months of hard work and dedication, Catherine received her yellow belt in tae kwon do. It's her first belt with color. (She was previously a white belt. Next comes purple belt.) She tested last week. She was so excited to get her new belt.

Here she is getting ready for testing.

And here she is last night receiving her brand new yellow belt from Instructor Tuan.

And here she is, officially a yellow belt.

In other tae kwon do news... David is starting tae kwon do tonight. He will have to work hard to keep up with the other moms and dads... and Catherine.

Icy Feet

2011-11-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

It's been so cold lately. Well, not cold to people who live in say.... Buffalo... But cold to me. Our house is so drafty. And since we live in an all electric house, running the heater is almost out of the question. Our highest summer electric bill was $300. That is a lot. I don't want to repeat that for winter. If I dare turn on the heater David turns it right back off. But is is easier to get warm than stay cool.

We have beautiful, hand made quilts that my step-mom made. I have been wearing several pairs of socks at once. Sweats and flannel pajamas are my new buddies.

I like the fall and winter best. I don't like the heat. The heat makes me cranky.

I also have been drinking a lot of nice hot tea. I love British tea best.

Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Irish Breakfast Tea, English Breakfast Tea... I also like green teas and herbal teas. I have been enjoying yummy cups of chamomile at night before bed.

We have been making lots of yummy fall foods. Lots of soups and roasts and warm breads. It's awesome.

Except for the cold feet.

I need more socks.

These Hands Were Made For Washing

2011-11-13T10:39:00.000-08:00

I won't say I am some kind of hand washing freakazoid, but I wash my hands a lot. Like other normal people, I wash them after I use the restroom. I wash them after I handle raw meat. I wash them if I get something icky on them.

That last one happens a lot.

Inmates are icky. Their stuff is icky. And I touch them all day. I pat them down. I go through their stuff. Just the other day, I touched a huge stack of disgusting, photo-copied porno. Who knows what was on that.... EWWW!

I have search gloves, but I don't wear them every second. Sometimes there are latex gloves available, but I am allergic. On the rare chance I find some nitrile gloves, I fill my little belt pouch with them. But they never last long.

So needless to say, I wash my hands a serious amount of times a day. I keep these hand sanitizers on me all the time too. I also carry around lotion. The cheap soap they keep at work really dries the skin.

My favorite hand washing stuff comes from Mary Kay... Satin Hands. It makes my hands feel all girly and soft. It also works really good on my feet. It's almost as good as a spa pedicure. Well, not quite, but it is still nice.

I used to sell Mary Kay a million years ago. (I sold Avon too.) My friend Helen sold Mary Kay and I would help her out when I could. (She had Parkinson's, if I remember correctly. That was 12 years ago.) I loved their stuff, but especially the Satin Hands.

Now I get my Satin Hands from my friend Adrienne. She started selling it recently. Check out her online store.

This keyboard is probably covered in germs so I am going to go wash my hands now.

Not crazy, perfectly normal.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

2011-11-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

I mentioned before that I have been playing fantasy football with some family members. It's my first time playing and I kind of like it.

When my dad asked me to play, I figured I would try it. I didn't know anything about football. (I still don't really.) Sometimes David watches football and we usually watch the Super Bowl for the ads and halftime. I didn't even know players names.

Luckily, all I do is work with tons of men. Men who watch football. Men who play fantasy football. So in the weeks leading up to the start of this I spent a lot of time asking guys I work with a lot of questions.

What the heck is a fantasy football?

How do I know what the good players are?

How do I get good players?

How do they score points?

What teams are good?

First off, you'd think these men had never been asked these questions before and most were super happy to answer. I got so many opinions. Everyone has favorite teams and favorite players. They went on and on and on...

Anyways, by draft day I had a list of player that could be good. That was fun. I was trying to get the best players I could while the rest of my family were trying to do me in.

Players in my league include me, my dad, my step-mom Vicki, my sister Nikki, my cousin Wendy, her brother, my cousin Jerry, his wife Brenda, and Vicki's son, my step-brother Brandon. My team is called “Spanish Inquisition”. Why?

Every week my dad sends out a recap. I love that. It's funny. His team is called “The Stingrays”. He named it after his car. Anyways, it has been fun so far. I lose more than I win. But that's okay. It has been fun anyway. And if I have to lose to people, I am glad it's them. This week I am playing my dear sister. Her team is called “Slick Chicks”. She should have called it “About To Lose” because she is about to.

I am really going to miss this when it is over.

A Day In The Life

2011-11-11T07:28:00.000-08:00

Waiting For Something

I was working one morning watching inmates come and go out of the dining area. I see an inmate kind of lingering around. I know this inmate. I have dealt with him before. I am pretty sure I have seen his penis in a window somewhere.

Anyway, he is skulking around the corridor. He should have gone back to his unit by now. But he went and hid in medical. I go down there to see what the big deal is in medical.

Then I saw. A new contractor nurse was handing out the pills at pill line. She was young and Asian and pretty. She didn't deserve what was coming her way.

So I intercepted.

Medical was cleared and the gate was closed. That same inmate was waiting by the gate with me to get back to medical. I informed him that he would not be going to medical. I told him to wait right there by the wall and not move.

He wasn't happy.

So he unzipped his pants and started masturbating right there in the hallway.

Awesome.

I knew it.

So I march him into the lieutenants office and tell them what he did. He denied the whole thing. Said he would never do that and I was a liar. The lieutenant looks up his history. Hmm. Seems he has done that quite a few times before.

He goes to Special Housing and they strip search him. They find very strategically placed holes in his oversized pants. He has no idea how that could have happened. He was framed.

You believe him, don't you?

At least the nice new nurse didn't have to see it.

We're Related

2011-11-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of cousins. I mean a lot. Sometimes I can't keep up with how many there are. On my mom's side I have two cousins. But there is a huge age difference. The first one didn't come along until I was 16. We are not close. I couldn't even tell you where they lived. On my dad's side, I have more cousins than I can count. My parent's divorced when I was almost 7. Before that I spent lots of time with them. After the divorce, I didn't see them again.

But that was before.

Now, I have almost daily contact with cousins. I see them on Facebook. We chat and share (or steal) pictures. I am playing in a fantasy football league my dad started with several of them.

Sometimes I am jealous that they are all close and spent lots of time together. Or even the fact that they all know who they are. Especially since I have always lived near them. A lot of my cousins live right here in Southern California. But I am glad I know them now.

I always wanted a big family. I guess I always had one. Too bad I never knew it. And there are more than I even pictured here. How awesome is that??

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday here.

Cooking With Cats
Carolynn and Muffins
November 2011

My Guinea Pig Maze

2011-11-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

One day last week, I built a maze out of video games for my guinea pig, Ginny. There were many failed attempts at building said maze, but i finally got a design that worked.

The Maze

Ginny

Off she goes!

Go Ginny Go!

Ginny has made it to the end and got the prize, lettuce. She enjoys her prize very much. I realize that my guinea pig is pretty smart.

Season's Change

2011-11-07T08:02:00.000-08:00

As soon as the leaves began to change, we went to Big Bear to do some hiking. We had a great time. We all took a ton of pictures. First, we went to the Discovery Center to get some hiking maps and a parking pass. We also got some Big Bear scrapbooking materials. (Scrapbooking is a new obsession of ours.) Then we went to the village. We got some burgers and ate them outside. (We had Gibby with us.)

We walked all around and looked in shops. We got a new bear figurine for our collection. After that we went and did some hiking. We chose a different trail than the last time. It was a nice long hike. It took us over a hour. We had a great time. It's probably going to be too cold to do it again for awhile. Unless we want to bundle up and hike in the snow.

My First Swim Meet

2011-11-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

“Weeeeep!” A whistle sounded in the distance.

“Take your mark!” said the man on the speakers.

“Weeeeep!” the final whistle sounded then all you could hear was splashes into the water.

I was there, the smell of chlorine, kids running past us. My first swim meet, I was so excited, nervous, jumpy, I couldn't wait to get in the water and race.

It was March 1st and I was walking up to the school were the meet was. It was really hot outside but I didn't notice, I was to busy looking for my friend Catherine, who was going to show us were our team had set up. Finally I had found Catherine standing next to a big blue truck that served snow cones with painted penguins on the sides. As I headed towards her all I could think was “Yay! I didn't get lost and go to the wrong place”. I looked behind me and David, my guardian, was carrying two chairs and my sister and my mom walked behind him. When I got to the snow cone truck, Angel, a little 7 year old girl on my team, jumped out wearing a blue swimsuit with gray stripes on the sides, with a swim cap with our team logo on her head.

“Carolynn!” she yelled as she ran over to me and took a huge leap towards me to give me a huge hug.

“Angel hey!” I said as I hugged her. Catherine walked up as she finished the last of a text message on her phone and said “sup”, looking up and putting her phone in her pocket.

“Where is everyone?” I said getting tired of carrying my swim bag on my shoulder.

“Ughhhh I'll show you. Come with me” Catherine said as she turned towards the gate.

There was two sides to the gate. One were all the teams had set up with their tents and the other side had the pool and races and little shopping areas. We had two tents in a corner right in the turn of the wall. As I set my swim bag down everyone greeted me saying hi. David and my mom set up the chairs in the middle of both tents and sat down while my little sister spread out out a towel and sat down and played with her PSP. I was to excited to sit so I went off to find my coach Sarah, guessing she was by the pool.

I went with Catherine to find her. Instead of finding Sarah, I found my friend Jared, who was getting ready to race. We wished him luck and stayed on the far end of the pool to cheer him on. As he dove off the block we screamed and cheered with the team. Then all of a sudden Sarah showed up and yelled “GO!”. After I told her I was here and she said I was doing 100m breaststroke, 100m back stroke 100m freestyle and 50m freestyle. We went back to the tent and Catherine's mom, Carrie, told us that the little kids that swim in the morning where running slow, and the older kids would start really late. So I was there really early, but it was okay I had a camera and friends to talk to.

We stayed at the tent taking random pictures, dancing and eating M&M's. Then our friend Thomas came. He's like my little brother (him being 12 in all). We started swimming together and have been in the same lane since. We danced some more and walked around the little swim meet shopping area, while Catherine tolled me about her boyfriend issues and I told her she didn’t even need a boyfriend, shes 12.

When we wondered back to the tent Sarah was there sitting in her chair texting. While all the little kids were sitting around as we left them. Laiken, another little girl on her team was yelling at her dad because he told her to eat something to keep her energy up but she said no. Sarah looked up at us and asked me if some one had showed me the ropes yet. No one had so she and Thomas walked me over near the pool to this big board with slips of paper and they taught me how to read what heat and lane I was in. When we got back to the tent it was finally time to get ready to get in the pool for warm-ups. As we were stretching our friend Alex showed up just in time. After we stretched out we headed out towards the pool it was packed with kids warming up. We jumped in a lane with another team. It was so crowded. When we finished the horrid warm-up Sarah told me to go check the board for my event.

I was so excited when I walked over there and saw my name on that board, I was so ready to race. I walked back to the tent to get my parents and tell them what heat and lane I was in. Finally, after hours of waiting. I got to go to the side of the pool were the timers and blocks were. Finally everyone was going to cheer for me.

As I was standing behind the blocks waiting Thomas and Alex walked up and said I looked so nervous. Frankly I was. So Thomas said “Pretend there is really good pizza on the other side of the pool, or really good Panda Express”.

As soon as he was done saying that our coach Sarah walked up. “Carolynn you look so scared. Come on, jump up and down get those juices flowing.” So me and her jumped up and down waved our arms and looked really stupid.

Then I was one person away from racing so I walked up. Thomas wished me luck and Alex said, “Don't worry you'll do great.”

I stepped up to the blocks. I took my mark and jumped off the blocks for my 100m breaststroke. I went as fast as I could 4 laps in the pool. When I stopped everyone was still screaming and the timers were saying that was a good job. When I got out I couldn't feel my legs. I went to get my time and I had got a white time which is considered slow. The times go white, red and then blue, which is the fastest color time. Then it goes into other faster times, such as Junior Olympic times. Then Sarah appeared and said I needed to go check the board for my next event which was almost next.

I went and checked and got my heat and time and walked back to the blocks and got ready for my 100m backstroke. Once again I looked so nervous. I thought I was going to faint. “Whats wrong?” Sarah said behind me. “You look like your about to throw up.”

“I'm nervous” I said.

“What? You have nothing to be nervous about. You know why everyone wanted you to do meets?” I shook my head and she went on “Because we all knew you would blow people away with what you can do in that water. So go get in that water and go.”

I walked up to the block and and got in the water and waited for the whistle for us to go. When the whistle sounded we took off and swam. I was so nervous I forgot that my goggles weren't on right and when we went off my goggles filled with water. I did that race practically blind, but when I finished I had a red time.

All that I had left was two more races; 100m freestyle and 50m freestyle; the two races everyone wanted to see me do the most. I was so excited. My friend Thomas was standing there waiting with me. ”Okay Carolynn, get a blue time or no pizza for you!” he said.

“Okay I'll try” I said smiling.

I walked to the block took my mark. I leaped off the block and tried my best. When I finished I had a red time, but it was so close to a blue time.

Finally the last race had come, the 50m, the one that everyone was sure I was going to do good in. I waited at the blocks a little less nervous then earlier and waited for the whistle to tell us to get up on the blocks. Then the guy on the speakers said, “Take your mark.” loudly. This was it the last race, and all the things I needed to remember went through my head: no breathing on the first stroke, no breathing into the wall, only breathe when have to, don't false start.... no pressure right?

Beep! We all jumped off the blocks and I sprinted as fast as I could. It was so fast, I could hear every one screaming for me to go. When I hit the wall all the rest of the kids were still swimming. They were half way down the pool when I looked and they were still flip turning when I finished all I could think was that I have to pee. When I got out I walked over to the tent for the first time since I started the races and everyone said good job. I said “Thanks. Be back, got to pee!” and ran to the bathroom as everyone laughed.

When I walked over everyone told me I was one second away from a blue time. Catherine's mom was packing up said “Catherine has been trying to get red times for a year and you got them without trying.” All the parents agreed. I packed up from a great day and went home and ate everything and went to bed.

Today I have one blue time, shooting for December invitationals, and lots of red times and some white. Most of the people on my team, including me, have switched teams with a new coach . We've all been getting faster and trying harder. I'm still always nervous before I race but I know if I go in, try my best and have fun, I’ll always do good. My new coach says I have the potential to be a great sprinter and I’m working hard on it.

Everyone Should Have One

2011-11-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday David turned 24. We didn't do much celebrating since I had to work and the girls had school and tae kwon do. Chris and Sherri took him out for pizza and bought him cupcakes. I made him spaghetti. (I'm Italian. When something happens I make spaghetti.) But we will do something extra special when we can. That's the part about being an adult is sometimes birthdays just have to wait.

David is the best. He is super great with the kids. He cheered at various soccer and softball games. He's watched countless hours of swimming and tae kwon do. He has driven to various swim meets and cross country events. He has waited outside of schools, seen every play and and every choir performance.

He keeps the house sort of tidy most of the time. The laundry is usually done and the dishes are usually clean. He helps kids with homework and still has time to do his own.

He always listens when I have a bad day. Or a good day. Or I just feel like talking to him. Though he does point out stories I have already told him. Which is not cool. But I let it slide. He gets along with my family and friends.

No matter what happens, we always have our David. I think we will keep him.

Get your own.

Dona Nobis Pacem

2011-11-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

Seems silly to write about peace on the day I usually write about what kind of crazy stuff goes on in prison. But here we go.

I think my grandpa is the perfect example of living in peace. He worked hard and enjoyed his retirement. He fished and walked his dog and spent time with his children. All of them. That's how it should have been. Work and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Sounds like a plan. I think I will do that.

Live in peace.

Always.

Check out more peace globes here and here or on Facebook and also on Twitter.

The Surprise Of The Century

2011-11-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is David's birthday. He will be 24. He is getting old. Just 5 more birthdays and he will have caught up to me. We are not planning anything special. We are tight on money right this minute and we are spending our extra money on car repairs and maintenance. Having two working vehicles is a must.

Of course, that is what we told Catherine for her birthday in September. We told her we were so broke she wasn't even getting presents. Then we bought her Ginny Weasley. She was so surprised. But really, that wasn't the end of it. The Saturday after that, we threw her a surprise party. She had no idea.

We had actually been planning it for weeks. Catherine's friend Brittany helped me pick out invitations on the sly. They were tea cups and when you pulled out the tea bags the party information was on them. That was our theme, a tea party. Catherine's friend Dalia helped me with the guest list.

On the day of the party, while Catherine was at tae kwon do, Carolynn and I cleaned the house. We started the food and got the decorations ready. Catherine's dad sent her a corsage of orchids that came while she was out and we stored it in the refrigerator. When Catherine got home she saw us decorating and getting out the fancy tea set. She thought that we were just having fun. When we lived in San Diego, we often threw ourselves silly parties when we were broke just for us. It was fun. That is what Catherine thought we were doing then. So she joined right in and helped us decorate and make food.

Then she had an idea. Maybe she could invite over a friend. She wanted to invite her friend Robyn. I said sure. Robyn was on my guest list but I didn't know where she lived or how to find her so she never got the invitation. Catherine was happy to invite the one friend and was ready to go get her and start the tea party.

Then she looked out the window as our friends Adrienne and Serenity drove up. She looked confused. Then her friends Dalia and Brittney (and their little sister) came and brought cake pops. (I tried to make some but mine didn't work out to well. Luckily Dalia and Brittney's mom had it covered.) Catherine was so excited. She finally was catching on it was a party for her. She and David went to pick up Robyn. While she was gone 2 more friends showed up. She couldn't believe it when she got back. Later Chris and Sherri came too. The girls played games, ate and drank tea. Catherine got to wear her corsage. They all wore plastic tiaras. They opened presents. Catherine got a lot of cool scrapbooking stuff. It was quite the surprise.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-02T08:34:00.000-07:00

Check out more Wordless Wednesday posts here.

Halloween Houses
Spring Valley Lake
Victorville, California
Halloween 2011

Fright Night

2011-11-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

As all of you who haven't been living in a cave know, yesterday was Halloween. And since today is day one of NaBloPoMo... I am going to do what plenty of others are doing today and write about it.

I actually had the day off. It was amazing. We carved pumpkins in the afternoon. We made one that had Mike Wazowski from the movie Monster's Inc. My friend Adrienne says it looks like a pig but she is just jealous of our pumpkin skills.

Then we made one that had Maleficent's dragon from Sleeping Beauty. Yeah, we had a Disney thing going here. We are all serious Disney freaks. And you got to admit. This dragon looked awesome.

Then the girls got dressed up. Catherine was a zombie bride.

Something that is severely lacking in my Plant's vs. Zombies game. There are no female zombies. How sexist. Anyways, Catherine looked really cool. Carolynn went as Gir. I don't even know what a Gir is or does or where it came from. All I know is that she loves it. She had originally sent me to the store to get her a Katy Perry costume. I found the one she wanted and decided she wasn't going to leave my house dressed as a whore. So I found this Gir costume and bought it.

And we only saw one other kid wearing it all night.

We went trick or treating in Spring Valley Lake with one of Carolynn's friends. And her little brother and sister and her mom. They live in Spring Valley Lake. As a matter of fact, Kelcie's mom works for the security patrol. Before trick or treating started we went to the community center where they were having games for kids. They played some games for a while and then we started on our candy demands. We went for about 45 minutes before we took a break. Kelcie's dad came to pick up the little ones for his turn to take them and then we headed about for another 30 minutes or so. There were so many kids and it was a nice night out. There were so many cool decorations out and everyone had a good time.

Then we came home. We didn't have any kids come to our house for trick or treat. I can't wait to live in a neighborhood again. We feasted on candy and then ate some ho dogs and watched the finale of Halloween Wars, which we had on DVR and hadn't seen yet. We also watched The Next Iron Chef. This one is what I thought it should be. All star chefs competing for the honor.

So that was our Halloween. Today I am making chicken noodle soup, bread and we are also baking pumpkins for future use in pies and bread and such. We will probably get out the Thanksgiving decorations and put away the Halloween stuff. And clean. There is always cleaning to do. Until tomorrow fans...

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

I always post Michael Jackson's "Thriller" on Halloween. But this Glee version is just so amazing. So I had to post it.

But I still needed my old school fix.

Enjoy!

Lights, Camera, Pictures!

2011-10-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned previously, Carolynn is taking a photography class this year. Last unit she took some contrasting pictures. You can see them here. This unit it was all about lighting. Here we have her final pictures.

Top Light

Back Light

This one is also a back light photo. She realized she already had taken one after she spent 20 minutes trying to get that haunted house candle holder just right.

High Side Light

Under Light

Front Light

Check out her full portfolio on Flickr. www.flickr.com/photos/carolynnd

Tissues Standing By

2011-10-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

This week I finished reading the book P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern. It was pretty good, but a little sad. Basically, it starts with the death of the main character Holly's husband. He has died after a long battle with cancer. And she is devastated. Then she gets package from her husband. He had sent it before he passed so she would have it after. Inside the package there were envelopes. There is one for every month for the rest of the year. Each one had a little something he wanted her to do to help her to move on. First, was buying a new bedside lamp since he was no longer there to turn the lights off for her. That way she wouldn't have to try to find the bed in the dark. Then came everything from singing karaoke to looking for a new job to cleaning out his stuff. There was even a surprise vacation for her and her friends.

It was actually pretty predictable, but it was a nice story. Her husband's letters as well as her family and friends surround her and help her to start living again. It was an easy read. They made a movie out of it and I haven't seen it yet. But it has Hilary Swank.

Now I am reading Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin. David loved these books and he has read them all. He insisted I read it too. I have read about 50 pages, and so far it's not my thing. But we will see how it turns out.

A Day In The Life

2011-10-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

Have You No Decency?

I was sick. I didn't want to admit it, but I was so sick. Yet, there I was, at work. Dumb, I know. I was sitting in the control center with another officer. I felt worse for him. I way praying that he didn't catch whatever it was I had. He had a couple of small daughters and a pregnant wife to go home to. So I disinfected the place three of four times. And I tried to stay away from him the best I could.

In control there is a lot of stuff going on. Staff and inmates coming and going. We control the doors and make announcements. We control the equipment. On weekends, we allow visitors in and out. It was a Saturday, so this is what I was doing. I was letting visitors through and watching the cameras.

A visitor lady came through and her outfit was a little questionable. It was a yellow dress. It was very pretty and it looked lovely on her. It was not low cut and really, it looked like a dress she might wear to church on Sunday. However, it was a little bit more north of the knee than it should have been. She had a couple of kids with her, one boy and one girl ad they looked to be between 7 and 9. I was sick and she didn't look too bad so I let it go.

I was sitting watching the camera. I noticed the same lady sitting in the visiting room across from her inmate. The inmate was holding the boy and kind of curling him up to his chest making him laugh. The little girl was at the vending machine. There was something odd about the way the lady kept fidgeting in her lap. A lot of contraband comes in through visiting. I motion to my partner to take a look with me.

He adjusts the camera so we can she what she is doing. No contraband, but every time the inmate curls the boy to his chest, the lady spreads her legs. And that's when we realize she isn't wearing any panties.

No way.

He calls the visiting room officers and asks them if they see what we see.

They do.

As we watch, the inmate puts down the little boy and the little girl comes back. The lady has pulled her skirt way down and closed her legs. She says something to the girl and gives her a little bag of change. The two children run off to the vending machines.

The lady hikes her skirt all the way up and starts touching herself. Seriously. She really did it. We got it on camera.

I was sick and livid. There were kids in there, two of them hers. I get on the phone and ask the visiting room crew to make it stop. One of the officers goes over there. As soon as she sees him coming she stops and pulls her skirt down. The visiting crew was all men and they didn't want to tell the lady what we saw. The inmate could have accused them of looking at his girlfriend/wife the wrong way. He could get violent. The lady could start claiming harassment. They needed a female touch.

So I decided to go have a few words with her myself.

I marched myself right to the visiting room. The visiting guys had already removed the inmate and had him waiting in the back. I walked right up to the lady and asked her to join me in a private room. I told her I saw what she was doing. She said she wasn't doing anything. I told her not to mess with me, I saw and I knew and I was not about to tolerate it. She said she was just adjusting her dress as it was riding up a little. I again, told her no, I saw her on camera. I saw her lift her skirt and give her inmate a nice peep show. I told her that I would be reporting this to my supervisor. I told her I couldn't believe she would do that with kids in the room, including hers. I was so mad.

I walked to the back room to have a few words with the inmate. I walked in there and just glared at him. The nerve of some people. I tell him I saw what they were doing. He starts to deny it, but I cut him off and tell him not to bother. I tell him he disgusts me. He breaks down and admits to it. He says he is so sorry and he has a long sentence and he was just getting a little thrill.

I go and talk to the lieutenant and he says as long as they don't do it again, they can go back to their visit. I went back to control.

They didn't do it again.

The next day, I stayed home. I tried to work the day after that, but they sent me home. So I stayed home the day after that too.

Autumn Smells Good

2011-10-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

It's my favorite time of year. Autumn brings all my favorite stuff. Thweather is finally cooler after all that summer heat. (Checking black roofs on the top of prisons in 113 degree heat does not rock.) The leaves start changing colors. Holidays are coming. Halloween is so fun. There is a lot of candy. There are all of my cool decorations. The kids get awesome costumes. Then comes Thanksgiving. That's my favorite part. I love me some Thanksgiving dinner. Actually, I love all the fall foods.

We have been making all kinds of autumn foods. We baked banana bread and pumpkin bread. We baked some regular bread. We made potato cheese soup and vegetable beef stew. We baked cake and cupcakes. But one of our favorites this fall is bread pudding. The girls just can't get enough of it. And it is so yummy and so simple.

When my grandpa was little his dad worked in a grocery store and his uncle had a farm nearby. They didn't have a lot of money, but they always plenty of eggs, milk and bread. So bread pudding was one of his favorite treats.

You can make bread pudding with any bread. I really mean any bread. I made it earlier this week with leftover hot dog buns, see picture. With some eggs, milk, sugar, and cream and you can be enjoying this yummy treat. The kids like it with maple syrup. And since it is bread with milk and eggs and you can put maple syrup on it... They eat the left overs for breakfast.

Jennifer's Bread Pudding

Ingredients

2 Cups of Milk
¾ Cup of Cream
4 Eggs
½ Cup of Sugar (Plus some extra to sprinkle on top.)
1/3 Cup of Nut Flavored Liqueur (I used Di Saronno. But if we are all out, I just leave it out and it still tastes yummy.)
1 Teaspoon of Vanilla
½ Teaspoon of Salt
2 Teaspoons of Cinnamon
7 ½ Cups of Diced Bread (Any bread will do. But if your use cinnamon bread leave out the cinnamon.

(I like mine plain, but you could add nuts or raisins or any other dried fruit mixed in.)

Directions-

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Whisk together everything but the bread. Then pour it over the bread. Let it soak for 15 minutes.

Spoon it into 6 ramekins. Sprinkle the tops with sugar. Place the ramekins into a large roaster and pour hot water into the roaster, filling the roaster with water half way up the sides of the ramekins. Be careful not to spill water into the puddings. Place the roaster in the over and bake for 40 to 45 minutes. Take out of the water to cool. Let cool at least 30 minutes. We like to eat them with maple syrup.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

Silly Carolynn
September 2011
Apple Valley, California

All Your Fault

2011-10-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

I was going to write you some amazing blog posts today. They were going be awesome. You were going to be shocked and emotional. They were going to make you feel. They were going to make you laugh. They would have made you cry.

But I didn't write them. I couldn't.

There were zombies on my lawn.

Zombies. They were coming.

I had to do something. You weren't going to deal with them. Nope. You were sitting around waiting for me to write you something.

So I was fighting zombies. Planting plants as fast as I could to combat those pesky zombies.

Because you just weren't helping.

Don't worry. NaBloPoMo is coming. Then you can be amazed by my daily writings... with some help from the girls. Keep a look out. It's going to be awesome. I swear.

But today, no. There were zombies on my lawn.

I have to go now. I think I hear them coming again.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

"Fur Is Not Murder"
Catherine and Muffins
August 2011

A Day In The Life

2011-10-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Without Warning

One day I was working in this fabulous housing unit inside a prison somewhere. In the morning and in the afternoon during the week, we do a census check. Basically we check that those who are supposed to be at work are. So here it is, time for the morning census.

For the census, the inmates are not necessarily locked in their cells, but they are instructed to return to them in order for the officer to complete the check. So I walk out into the middle of the unit and announce census. The inmates start moving toward their cells.

Well, most of them.

I am standing in the middle of the unit waiting for all the inmates to take their places. But there is one inmate who I still sitting in front of a computer sending email. I walk over and tell him again that it is census. He tells me I can wait. His email is more important than census.

Um... no.

Again I tell him to return to his cell and he slowly walks to his cell, mumbling under his breath.

I begin my census. About 2/3 of the way done I come to a cell and no one is there. That's when an inmate comes running up. I ask him where he was and he tells me he was on the phone.

Really?

He wasn't on the phone when I started. He must have gone down to the phones when I was doing census and when no one should be moving.

Two cells down, the same thing happens. Except that inmate comes running out of the shower. Where he was not when I began the check.

I said nothing. I just finished my census.

Then I wrote them each incident reports.

I sent the reports to the lieutenant who calls for them at lunch. They go down to the lieutenants office and receive their reports.

Apparently they were stunned.

They come back and and ask me why I didn't give them a warning.

I inform them they had warning. None of them were new and were well aware of the rules. We do census twice a day every weekday. It's not like it was a surprise. And finally, I asked them to return to their cells and they refused.

They didn't get it. They went on and on about how they should have been warned.

Oh well.

Contrasting Carolynn

2011-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Carolynn is taking photography this semester. Her first unit assignment was fun. And here is her work.

Gibby's Tennis Ball- Extreme Close Up

Gibby's Tennis Ball- Normal

In the Front Yard- With Flash

In The Front Yard- Without Flash

Serenity and Adrienne- Direct Light Portrait

Check out more of Carolynn's photography on her Flickr. www.flickr.com/photos/carolynnd

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

Looking Pretty
Bubbles
August 2011

Not A Dry Eye

2011-10-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

At the end of the last school year, Catherine sang in her final choir concert of the 6th grade. The final event of her elementary career.

OMG! Where did the time go? My baby is already in junior high. And next year she will be an official teenager.

Anyway, the concert was cute. They sand a bunch of songs. Did some cute little dances. It was fun.

At the end they had a special surprise for one little girl.

They gave a salute to our military at the end. They were singing and the principal called for someone special to come out. It was a little girl's dad. He was in the army and had returned from the Middle East that day. He had just made it to the end of the concert and wanted to surprise her.

She was so surprised.

And there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Including mine. And David's.

Valley Of Nuts

2011-10-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had my very first week of vacation. 2 ½ years later, finally. And I was so excited. But what was I going to do with a whole week? Sure, we had stuff to do. Catherine's birthday fell in there. There were school appointments and house cleaning. But I wanted to get away. So we decided to go visiting.

My step mom Vicki made the girls and I some absolutely beautiful quilts. And we had never even met. Plus she was having a bad few weeks with her father passing away and we thought she could use some cheering up. So off we were to Fresno.

I had never been that far north in California before. Once I drove to Santa Barbara along the coast. But I never drove through the central valley before. So it was going to be an adventure.

We left on a Sunday morning. We drove through Adelanto. That is pretty much a whole lot of nothing. Except we passed what I believe was an elaborate Buddist Temple. It looked so cool. I would have stopped to take a picture, but there were tons of cars and Asian people.

Next we came to a huge solar plant. From far away it looked like a big blue lake. But when we got close we found out what it really was. We are to dopey to have taken a picture.

Next we came to a giant flat nothing called Boron. Ask Carolynn what comes from Boron and gets your whites the whitest. (See Carolynn's Science Project.) Then more and more desert and nothing and boring. OMG!

We were starting to get hungry. So we stopped in Tehachapi. We ate lunch at the McDonald's. Then we started up over the mountains. It was so brown.

I bet it looks really pretty in the spring when it's all green and lush. As we came over the hills, the brown began giving way to green. We saw cows and fields. Then trees. Fields and fields of trees. Pistachio trees, almond trees, citrus trees. And the eucalyptus trees that lined the highway were huge.

There were lots of little farm towns along the way. Eventually we came through Bakersfield. You know, that was kind of a crummy looking city. Or maybe it was just the parts you could see from the freeway. After that came more little farm towns. More cows. More nuts.

Finally, when I didn't think my behind could take much more, we were in Fresno. Fresno is a pretty little town. Except for it's not that little. My dad says it is the 4th largest city in California. But it doesn't feel like a big city.

My dad's house was nice.The front living room is the girliest room I ever saw. Pink walls. Doilies. Lace. Candles. A cute little bear wearing a dress. It was like a tea party. It was awesome. The bathroom matched. It had beaded towels. And there was a pink sewing room too. I loved it.

Vicki was so nice. She made excellent spaghetti. Very similar to mine. Amazingly enough, we had the same teacher.

My dad was happy to see us. He and Vicki bought Catherine the largest amount of scrap booking supplies ever. She had a great time making a few pages.Carolynn got to play with my dad's cool camera.(P.S. I want a camera like that.) She took lots of pictures. My dad has a cool collection of bonsai trees in his back yard. She took quite a few pictures of them.

On Monday, my dad so kindly fixed my car. The battery had started to wear and I wanted to replace it before I drove it back. And since he's the dad, he wanted to do it. So I let him.

He took us to breakfast at this cute little breakfast place. They had excellent food. We just hung around the house for the the day. David got to check out my dad's stingray. (Which is clearly the coolest car he has ever been in.) I took Carolynn to buy some scrap booking stuff of her own. And she bought none. Because she is nuts. But I did buy some cool stuff for Catherine. And for me.

Vicki had to work, but when she got home, we went to dinner and this funny little lumber jack restaurant. The food was good. They put dried cranberries and walnuts on their dinner salad. Which I thought was weird. That is until I ate it. It was awesome. I actually made it at home a few days later. The only thing that was bad was it was freaking cold in there. If your food is good, but you need a parka to eat there, you might want to think about that.

After that we had to head home. The drive home was so peaceful. It was so dark in the fields and you could see every star. You could also smell every cow. Not as awesome, but not something we get at home.

Anyway, it was a fun adventure. Carolynn said it was great to find people who get our humor. Where did she think I got it from?

My Dog Elvis

2011-10-02T08:50:00.000-07:00

My beagle Elvis is flopped on the brownish-red brick style tile in front of our front door. Most beagles weigh about 35lbs., but Elvis weighs about 50lbs. He is ten years old. He is a medium sized dog that has short stubby legs. His legs are light brown and his paws are white. His stomach is white, but the top of his back is black. His middle is light brown. Elvis' head is square with a black nose, a white snout, but the rest is light brown. He has hazel eyes with a mole between them. He wears a red collar with a Batman tag. On his neck is a large white diamond shaped patch of fur. His nails are pretty long. We don't want to cut them ourselves because we are afraid we will hurt him. Elvis' tail is light brown with a large black spot on the top and white on the tip. He is my dog and has been since I was two. I will always love him.

How Did This Happen?

2011-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

This is my cousin, Taylor. (And his girlfriend Mandy.)

Today is his 17th birthday.

Wait.

Did I say 17?

OMG!

How did this happen? Just yesterday he was a tiny baby who drooled all over me and I was 17 and I thought that was so gross.

Just yesterday I was pulling him around the yard in a wagon. Again. And again.

Just yesterday he was telling me that he couldn't do homework because parakeets hurt his ears.

Just yesterday he was trick or treating in adorable costumes.

How can he be 17?

How can he be graduating from high school this year?

How can he be driving?

How can he have a girlfriend?

I don't understand.

Happy Birthday Taylor.

A Day In The Life

2011-09-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

Denied

Once upon a time, many weekends ago, in a prison camp full of women, I was working. It was visiting.

I was processing visitor's into the visiting room first thing in the morning. Everything was going pretty smooth. Then I get a call.

Apparently, a man had gone to a neighboring institution and went into their waiting area. When the front lobby officer questioned him, he told her that I had sent him over there to get change. He told her the change machine at the camp was broken so that is why he was there. I never sent anyone there. First of all, our change machine was fine. Second, the change machine over there is not in the lobby so he would have had no access.

She didn't believe him either. Besides, she saw him messing around near the trash can.

He left and she immediately went to the waiting area trash and looked. There she found a huge bag of contraband; cigarettes, lighters, lip gloss, fast food items...

She calls the supervisor and tells them what she found and give a description. By the time that man arrives in my line, they are waiting for him. As soon as he walks in, they tell him his visit is being denied because of introduction to contraband. They say no more. He says okay and walks away.

His wife, the inmate, she is not a happy camper. During the count she gets angry with me and demands to speak to the warden. Now.

Yeah, that's not going to happen. It's a weekend.

Besides, why ever would she want to speak to the warden? We had told her nothing. We had told her husband nothing besides that he was denied. And it had only been moments before when he was denied. How could she know?

Because she was watching.

She saw him come in and get in line and then she saw him leave. She also saw the supervisor's come and go. So she called her husband on his cell phone as soon as she could. He told her about being denied. She wanted to know why.

For introduction of contraband of course.

She starts crying and blubbering. It can't be true she says. She goes on about how she doesn't even smoke and would never eat that kind of fast food and she doesn't even wear make up.

Wait. How did she know? We didn't say a thing about that.

She continues her blubbering. She goes on with how it could have been anyone who put that stuff in the lobby of the other institution. Lots of visitors come and go in there. She should know, she works over there as an orderly.

Ah ha!

But what she didn't know... Visiting had been canceled at that institution. He was the only one there.

First thing Monday, we shipped her off to a more secure facility.

Penny Pigs

2011-09-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

When Catherine was little she loved to go to PetsMart and look at the guinea pigs and hamsters. She called them penny pigs and hammers, but we knew what she meant. Every time we went in for dog food or whatever, that's the first place she went. David used to work at a PetsMart and she would love to go there to wait for him and spend forever looking.

When she was about 7 or so, every birthday and Christmas, she began asking for one. But I just didn't think she had the amount of responsibility to really take care of one. Catherine is a really smart kid... When it come to school. When it comes to anything else... Her room was always a mess. She couldn't remember to shower. How could she take care of a guinea pig if she couldn't even take care of her own self?

Catherine turned 12 last week. And she has been getting a lot better. She showers regular. (Thank goodness!) Her room is getting better. You can actually see the floor. She has been remembering to feed the dogs. And her home school stuff she has been doing, most of the time, without too much prodding. So for her birthday, we finally got her that guinea pig.

The day before her birthday, David asked if she'd like to open her present a day early. (He was just as excited as she was.) She of course wanted to open it early. We dropped Carolynn off at school and we were eating breakfast at Jack In The Box. We said after we finished our errands and school appointments, we would give her the present.

So we did school appointments, she and David got haircuts, we picked up Carolynn and her friend for lunch. We dropped them back off. Then we went to PetsMart to buy dog food and cat food. Or so she thought. She was so excited about going home and getting a gift that she barely knew what was happening. We got the dog food, cat food and kitty litter in to the cart and we were heading out. David said he was going to find a man to help him get fish for the turtle. Catherine, as usual had wandered over to look at the guinea pigs.

I went to find her and an employee came and asked if we needed anything. It just so happened that the employee knew about the surprise. David and I had gone into the PetsMart a week earlier to scope out prices and find out what all guinea pigs needed. The same lady helped us then. So she already knew when she saw Catherine what we wanted. And when I said yes, Catherine would like a guinea pig, and the lady said she'd have someone come with the keys right away... Catherine was so shocked. And so excited.

She picked out her guinea pig. And then began getting her accessories. Guinea pigs need a cage, pine shavings for the bottom, a house, a water bottle, food, hay, toys... and with out wallets much lighter, Ginny Weasley... Catherine's birthday guinea pig was on her way home.

It took her a little time to get used to us. The cats are constantly circling her cage. The dog would really like to “play” with her. She doesn't mind. Especially not if she has fresh food in her bowl.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T08:18:00.000-07:00

"Leave me alone, I am reading here."
Carolynn
August 2011

Crash Of The Titans

2011-09-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

My car, the Loser Cruiser, has been an extra big loser lately. Why?

David.

Here's a story for you.

I came home from work one day and I was super mad. Fuming. A bunch of inmates had gotten on my last nerve and then some jerk ass co-workers decided to push it further and I was about to explode. Then, when the day ended, I go out to the truck, as I had driven it to work that day, and find the driver's side door was jammed.

Sweet.

I cuss at it and yell at it. Finally, as the passenger’s side door is broken, I jimmied it open and got in and drove home is a seething rage.

I park in the driveway, but not all the way in the garage as usual because I wanted David to come out and fix the door. I get out and go inside still raging and David goes out to fix the door. Which he does in like two seconds. Which only furthers my rage.

A few moments later, David and Catherine get in the Loser Cruiser on their way to some sports practice. The car is parked in the garage. I hear them start the car and then I hear a load bang.

WTF?

I go outside and now David is raging. He backed into the truck.

He didn't hit it full on, as I had parked in the driveway, just behind where I usually park in the garage, which is next to the car. He hit the back passenger side corner of the car into the front driver's side of the truck. Which totally made a huge hole just above my bumper and just under my tail light.

And after some duct tape, it now looks like this.

Sometimes the duck tape wears out and we replace it. As soon as we can afford it, we will get it repaired. It's will be about $250 to fix, plus paint. Thank goodness duct tape is silver.

But until it gets fixed, Super Loser Cruiser.

The truck....

No damage.

I think the sheer coolness of that truck is the only thing holding it together. Serious. That truck will last forever.

All The Living Things

2011-09-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

1. A cat. Two-face is living because she is made of cells.2. A tree is living because it uses energy.3. A dog. Gibby is living because he has DNA.

4. A house plant. Charlotte is living because she can reproduce asexually.

5. Roses are living because they can grow and develop.

6. Ants are living because they sense and respond to change.

7. A beetle is living because it needs food to survive.

8. A person. David is living because he can move and breath.

9. A turtle. Little Dude is living because he depends on water to survive.

10. A guinea pig. Ginny is living because she needs an environment that includes everything she needs to live.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

Catherine's Homemade Banana Puddings
August 2011

Home School 101

2011-09-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

School started on Tuesday and it sure has been an interesting proposition. Catherine being home schooled this year makes for some interesting stuff. She is taking 6 classes. Plus I am teaching her about cooking, cleaning and gardening. Her classes are Language Arts, Life Science, World History, Algebra, Literature and P.E. Easy.

The first day went great. She was excited to learn. We did our shopping in the morning and ran some errands. Then we got started. We have made lesson plans going through the first three weeks. I use the curriculum from the school and then I add to it. We add videos, art, science experiments, and anything else I can think of. We went through the curriculum quickly. We watched a video about Pompeii and we read a lot of Harry Potter. It was fun.Day 2 went a little more bumpy. She was excited in the morning. We made cinnamon rolls and ate them while we got started. But there was a bump. Carolynn.

People are getting more and more fed up with traditional public school. They don't have money to pay teachers. Programs are being cut. Classes are over crowded. The school the girls go to is a charter school. They have options for home schoolers plus they have classes. However, this year, the school is FULL. More children than they had anticipated have enrolled and they are currently using a small temporary campus while the permanent buildings are being built. They are set to open for next semester. And until then, there just isn't room. Since Carolynn's facilitator didn't sign her up properly last year for classes, she is doing home school for a few classes. And on Wednesday and Friday, she doesn't have to go to school until afternoon. Carolynn is doing home school for World History, Photography and P.E.

So yesterday morning, not only did Catherine sit down with me to get to work, so did Carolynn. This made for a lot of chatting and Catherine watching Carolynn and petting the dogs and cats and fidgeting around. She just wouldn't focus or anything. It took her forever to get anything done. FOREVER.

I am sure we will work it out as we go. I will say that it is much more fun to home school kids who want to be taught. That semester we home schooled Carolynn when she was in the 8th grade was awful because she fought the whole time. This time we are having fun. Mostly. Sometimes.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

She's like a honey badger...
She doesn't give a shit and she sleep's where she wants.
Muffins (aka IBK)
August 2011

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

Bad Hair Day
Catherine
August 2011

White Belt

2011-08-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

Catherine has been doing tae kwon do for about a month now. She really loves it. We finally found something just for her. She tried two seasons of softball and three seasons of soccer. She just really didn't like it. The softball scared her and soccer seemed to bore her to death.

She has been working so hard at it. And last week, she earned her first official belt, the white belt.

But first, as a rite of passage, she had to write her name in the air with her butt.

Then she received her belt.

Here she is official. The certificate is really cool.

Being Prepared

2011-08-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

David's dad sent me an email about being prepared for disasters. Then he sent it again. I figured he meant business. We really should be prepared. We live in the desert near a fault line. Duh. So I got me a big bin and I am starting to fill it up.

I started with food. Dry pinto bean and navy beans. White rice. Cans of tuna and clam chowder. Canned vegetables. Peanut Butter.

I got a tarp. I don't know why. If there was an emergency need for a tarp, I will be ready.

I am going to keep filling. Every time I go to the store, I pick up more.

A Day In The Life

2011-08-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Multi-Cultural

One day, on a fabulous day in a very special housing unit, I was passing out breakfast to inmates. At the very first cell I stop at, there are two Hispanic men. One is standing near the door and the other is lying in bed.

I open the trap door and place two breakfast trays inside. The inmate standing close to the door is saying something to me. I can't hear him well. But he is trying to give one tray back.

He squats down and looks at me through the trap. I am not hearing him clearly. His English is not great and neither is my Spanish. Finally I get it. His cell mate is sick and gets a liquid diet. I look up. Sure enough, it says right on the door.

I lean over a bit to tell him that I will go get the special food and be back. I want to be sure he understands and hears me. Inmates get very upset when they don't get food.

That's when I see what he is doing.

The inmate is squatting down, penis in hand, masturbating. I yell. I slam the door. I ask him what the hell he was thinking.

He says... “No habla.”

Charlotte's Web

2011-08-25T07:37:00.000-07:00

School is starting soon. Carolynn will be a sophomore this year. (OMG!) Catherine will be in the 7th grade. Catherine will be doing a home schooling program this year. My worry over this is... will she have enough to do? Will she be challenged enough? She isn't always very challenged at school. So I have been trying to think of ways for her to keep busy and continue to learn.

The other day I was at Wal-Mart checking out some plants and we found a spider plant that needed some love. And $1.00 later, Catherine had herself a project. She picked out little red pot and a bag of potting soil and we were on our way.

When we got home she planted her new "friend" in it's new pot. She named it Charlotte.

We found a fabulous home for Charlotte... In the kitchen window. She watered it a bit.

Then she started her plant journal. She wrote about buying her plant and getting it planted. And why she named it Charlotte.

The next day, we planted one of Charlotte's babies in an empty boullion container. And she wrote about it.

I think this is going to be a fun year.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

My niece Carter
She made this face when she first saw Catherine playing Dance Central.
July 2011

A Day In The Life

2011-08-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

Holier Than Thou

One day in a far off magical kingdom, or a federal prison camp for female offenders....

I was working at the camp for visiting. An older inmate was all excited because this very nice gentleman was there to visit. She was like a teenager and she was nearing 60. I thought it was just too adorable. I wondered what such a sweet old lady could have done to get herself into a situation such as that.

Later that day when I had a few minutes, I decided to find out what got her into prison. (Some kind of fraud or tax thing if I remember correctly.) Anyways, while I was reading along, I noticed her file said she was a devout Morman with strong ties in the church. It also said that she and her husband had been married over 30 years and had four sons.

How wonderful of him to still be so devoted to her despite the situation that she was in! And how sweet that she still got all giggly at the the thought of seeing him. There they were in visiting, holding hands on the table (as is the rule) and gazing into each other's eyes. She was beaming and he too seemed so happy to see her.

After visiting ended, she practically floated back to her housing unit.

I was so happy to see that marriage could endure.

The following weekend, another very nice gentleman came to visit this same inmate. I typed his name into the computer and the computer said this man was her husband of 30 years.

No way. Her husband was there last week. Wasn't he?

However, since his drivers license matched and he was approved, I said nothing and he took a seat. I then went to let the inmate in to visit. I eyed her while I searched her and noted the jewelry and such she went in with. But I didn't say anything. She went in and hugged him and kissed them and they seemed happy enough to see her. But not like the other guy.

During visit, another inmate, a younger, more naive inmate, asks me if I noticed that that sweet little old lady had a different husband last week. Yeah, I had noticed.

Curiosity got the better of me and after visit, when I got the sweet little lady alone, I asked her what was up. She burst into tears and begged me not to say anything to her husband about the other man. Apparently, he was the husband's good friend and she and him had been engaging in a secret affair for a good ten years.

Sweet old lady.

75 Things About Us

2011-08-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite bloggers, Red Lotus Mama and Just One Miss, are doing this blog hop thing so I figured I would give it a go. Besides, if Trisha finds out, she'll probably make me do it anyway. She loves these things.

And just for fun, you not only get 25 things about me.... But also 25 things about our two junior bloggers. Carolynn and Catherine. Three for the price of one. That's the deal of the millennium right there.

And without further jabber...

25 Things About Me... Jennifer

1. No one calls me Jennifer. Except David. My whole family calls me Jenny and at work it's all last names.
2. I work in a federal prison. You might have known that if you are a regular reader. And despite that it is a scary place, I love my job.
3. I have two daughters, Carolynn and Catherine. Carolynn is 15 and Catherine is 11.
4. I have one tattoo. It's a blue rose and it is on my right ankle. I might get some more though. But I can't see spending money on that right now.
5. I was born in San Bernardino, California but spent most of my childhood years in Apple Valley, California. I spent most of my adult years in San Diego... Until I changed careers and moved back to Apple Valley three years ago.
6. I really miss San Diego. Bad. But I can't afford to live there.
7. I have a dog named Gibby. He's a chihuahua and Pomeranian mix. He's three.
8. I love pasta. All of it.
9. And chocolate. It cures all.
10. I love to cook.
11. I love the beach. When I was getting divorced I used to hide out at the beach in Torrey Pines all the time.
12. I have a serious obsession with The Simpson's. Really. I have every season on DVD and the movie. And various paraphernalia.
13. I love all things Disney. And love Disney history and Disneyland.
14. Actually, I love all things history.
15. I sang in a high school choir. But the teacher hated me. Mostly because I hated her.
16. Mexican food also cures all. Especially tacos.
17. I sing show tunes in the car. Or Abba. Carolynn is embarrassed to the core about this. Catherine sings along.
18. I lived in Wisconsin for 3 years. Three long years. Four snowy winters. Three deathly humid, bug covered summers.
19. When I started college, I was a history major with the goal of being a teacher or working in a museum. When I finished it was with a major in Media Communications. I don't even want to try and figure that out.
20. My college education has no bearing on my current career choice. I do write some amazing memos and incident reports.
21. I don't have a belly button. Just a huge scar from the abdominal hernia I was born with.
22. I don't wear bikini's. Even if I wasn't such a chubby.
23. I have a huge scar on my neck from the surgery I had as a baby. It's a long line with dots on the sides from the staples. I tell people it's where I had my Frankenstein bolts removed.
24. I have 1 brother and 2 half sisters.
25. When I was pregnant with Carolynn, I couldn't get enough french fries. When I was pregnant with Catherine, I couldn't get enough pretzels and pickles.

Next...

25 Things About Carolynn

1. Carolynn loves Glee. She loves all the characters and can't wait for the new season to begin. We went and saw Glee Live in Anaheim. Next week we are going to see the Glee tour movie and we even follow The Glee Project.
2. Carolynn's favorite color is green. She also likes purple.
3. Carolynn loves turtles. She has a turtle named Little Dude. He is a red eared slider.
4. Carolynn also loves her cats... Muffins, Two Face, and Betty.
5. Carolynn also loves her dog Bubbles. Bubbles is a mastiff mix.
6. Carolynn is a swimmer. She swims competitively and has for about a year and a half. Her best stroke is freestyle. She doesn't like butterfly too much and breast is her worst stroke.
7. Carolynn loves Dexter. She has seen every episode and has two of the books.
8. Carolynn loves Disney movies. All of them. When she was little she couldn't get enough of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She also loved Beauty And The Beast. (Although she called it Booty and Bees.) Now she claims she can't choose just one favorite.
9. Actually, Carolynn loves all thing Disney. She is wearing an Alice and Wonderland shirt right now and earlier she was playing Epic Mickey on Wii.
10. Carolynn collects Barbies.
11. Carolynn used to run cross country. She has a couple of trophies.
12. Carolynn enjoys playing the Sims 3. A lot.
13. Carolynn says the tacos at Jack In The Box are actually “moth tacos”. She eats them anyway.
14. Carolynn has a pen pal who lives in Illinois. They lived across the street from us when we lived in Wisconsin. We moved away from there in 2005.
15. Carolynn likes cookies and cream ice cream.
16. Carolynn will be a sophomore in high school this fall.
17. Carolynn can get her driver's permit at the end of October. God help us all.
18. Carolynn was born in Apple Valley, California.
19. Carolynn likes superhero movies... Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man, Thor... She even has a Batman poster on her wall.
20. Carolynn wants to be a forensic scientist when she grows up. Or an actress. Or a teacher. Or maybe a doctor. First woman president would be fine too.
21. Carolynn loves pizza. And Panda Express. She wold be fine with that for all eternity.
22. Carolynn loves shows like CSI and Law and Order.
23. Carolynn wears Love Spell from Victoria’s Secret. I think it smells like pineapple Lifesavers.
24. Carolynn wants to see Lady Gaga in concert. Because that would be awesome.
25. Carolynn didn't think I could come up with 25 things about her, but she was wrong.

And finally...

25 Things About Catherine

1. Catherine is going into the 7th grade. That's middle school.
2. Catherine is going to be home schooled for the 7th grade. It's going to be fun.
3. Catherine loves Pokemon.
4. Catherine does Tae Kwon Do. She is about to get her first belt. White.
5. Catherine loves video games. A lot of video games.
6. Catherine's best friends are Dalia and Brittney and they are sisters.
7. Catherine has a beagle named Elvis. She has had him since she was 2. He is an old fat dog now.
8. Catherine was in musical of Aladdin.
9. Catherine loves art. She likes to paint and draw.
10. Catherine played soccer for three seasons.
11. Catherine played softball for two seasons.
12. Catherine wears glasses to see.
13. Catherine was born in San Diego, California.
14. She likes to tell people she was born in a zoo, but technically she was born across from the zoo at Balboa Naval Hospital.
15. Catherine loves her some ham. Seriously.
16. Catherine's favorite movie is Despicable Me.
17. Catherine used to watch 50 First Dates over and over. She did the same thing with Mulan before that and The Jungle Book before that.
18. Catherine once had a cat named Mr. Wiggles. He pooped on everything and we couldn't get him to stop. I don't think he liked being an apartment cat. So we had to give him up.
19. Catherine's allowance burns a hole in her pocket every week. And all she buys is junk.
20. Catherine loves Payday candy bars.
21. Catherine loves cows. She is obsessed.
22. Catherine loves Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows.
23. Catherine once spent a summer throwing themed parties at our house for just us. We had a 70's party with fondue and disco music. There was a tea party with classical music and little sandwiches. There were also a few other ones I can't remember.
24. Catherine loves to watch Food Network. She used to get her party theme ideas from Sandra Lee.
25. Catherine is a straight A student and was in the GATE program at school. (GATE= Gifted and Talented Education)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

Catherine's Pre-Belt
August 2011
Victorville, California