A Day In The Life

What’s Your Name Again?

After being at the prison as long as I have been, I start to learn the inmates’ names. They all know my name. Whether they can say it or not is debatable but I also answer to Officer or C/O. However, some inmates have come up with some other amusing names for me. Here are a few of the main ones.

Peppermint Patty

Dora The Explorer

Strawberry Shortcake

Mrs. Potatohead

Thelma

Depending on the situation, I can take a little humor. Peppermint Patty and Thelma are probably the most common ones. They are usually said in a joking fashion and are tolerated with humor. Strawberry Shortcake usually is taken pretty well too.

Dora The Explorer… I was in a housing unit and there were a few young Hispanic inmates talking about me and calling me that in Spanish. I actually understood enough Spanish to know they were being jerks. So when I came in the next day, I went to their cells and cleaned up. I took their cardboard, the stolen food from the kitchen, and some ink bottles… all of which are contraband and not allowed anyway. When they came and asked me why I took their stuff, I told them I was exploring. They turned red and the counselor I was with laughed and laughed. She still calls me Dora when I see her. The inmates stopped though.

Mrs. Potatohead… I was in a housing unit one day and I found several gallons of a homemade alcohol called “White Lightning”. White Lightning is a very potent alcohol made with fermented potatoes. It is clear and easy to hide. To inmates it is worth a lot. I found so much and the guy who lived in the cell ended up going to segregation for it. After that I spent all day making sure I got it all and I confiscated every potato I could find. Hence the new name.