A Day In The Life

Indecent Proposal

I was handing out supplies. That was all I was doing. Toilet paper, soap, paper and envelopes, deodorant... you get the idea. I had given the inmates in that particular cell some stuff and all I did was ask if they wanted anything else.

Inmate: Yes, I want something else that you have.

Me: What?

Inmate: I need something for the swelling.

Me: What?

Inmate: I have a huge one and I need you to help me relieve the swelling.

Me: Was it really important for you to say that?

Inmate: Yes. You gave me this problem.

Me: Guess what? Now I am giving you an shot. Enjoy.

I walked a few cells down continuing my distribution of supplies. The inmate is banging on the door and yelling my name. Another officer went over to check. I walk closer to hear what he was saying.

Officer: What is the problem?

Inmate: Is she really going to write me up?

Officer: It's her choice.

Inmate: She can't do that. I was just kidding. Can't she take a joke?

Officer: You shouldn't joke about that.

Inmate: If she writes me up, it's going to be bad. I am going to throw things, hold traps, and more. Look me up, I got a life sentence. I am never getting out of here and I don't care.

Me: I don't either. I am going home in an hour. Good luck.

I did write the inmate up. I didn't hear anything about him making good on his threats. As a matter of fact, just two days later I escorted him to recreation and he acted like we had never met. I had no problems delivering his meals either.