Smooth As A Babies…

So I live in a desert. Yep. A dry, hot, boring desert.

And I have realized recently that I am not exactly the spring chicken I once was.

Shut up.

My mother, and no offense to her, aged horribly. Her wrinkles and gray hair came at an early age. Smoking probably helped speed that along.

Anyways, at my age I think I look pretty alright. People often mistake me for a lot younger and are usually surprised when they find out my real age. I don’t have grays. It’s because I am a soulless ginger. Red heads generally gray later. I don’t have wrinkles too much either. I was never a make-up wearer and I have always tried to take care of my skin.

But the dry…

My elbows and my knees…

So I bought lotion. Do you have any idea how many bottles of lotion I have in my bathroom?

16.

I counted them. Little ones, big ones, some with all natural ingredients, some with fabulous fragrances…

And you know how many of them I use?

None.

I hate being all greased up. I hate greasy hands. And mostly, I just forget it is there. I am a busy person. Who has time to lotion? Not me.

Then I started seeing these commercials for this in shower lotion. These commercials are the creepiest thing ever. LIKE EVER....

And while I don’t want some creepy lady anywhere near me or any one I like, I thought maybe this in the shower lotion would be good. I could avoid the dragon scale elbows and knees and not be a greased up pig. And if it is there in the shower, I might actually use it.

So I bought some. But not this brand, I went with Nivea In Shower Body Lotion

AND IT WAS GLORIOUS!

I no longer have dragon elbows and knees. It was awesome. I am not all greasy.

I loved it so much I bought if for Mary on her birthday. Yeah. I know I am weird.

I use the cocoa butter version. It smells good. No one paid me to say that either. I just wanted to share it with you. Because it was that awesome.

The Return of The King

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Parts One and Two by John Tiffany

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I was really looking forward to this book. I love Harry Potter so much. I have read the original series more times than I can count.

Yes, I knew it wasn't written by J.K Rowling. Yes, I know it is a play.

I enjoyed it. Sure, I would have loved more detail, but it was a play. Sure I would have loved more new characters. But again, a play.

I loved being taken back to familiar times and places. I loved a look into future Harry's life.

I would love some more. But I take what I can get.

I give this book a 4 out of five because as much as I love Harry Potter, his story finished in The Deathly Hallows. And as much as I want it to continue, it won't.

And yes, it was a play and no it wasn't written by J.K. Rowling.



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The Living Desert

Last month our home school group took a trip to The Living Desert Zoo and Gardens in Palm Desert. We had a great time.

They have a neat butterfly exhibit where you can go in and butterflies land right on you. While Michelle is way too much for butterflies, Catherine made some new friends.

And we got a lot of great pictures.

Michelle also got to ride a camel. She loved it.

And feed the giraffes. Again, loved it.

There was so much to see and do there. It was great. The weather was nice. The people were friendly. We were the only school group that day and it wasn’t crowded.

I tried to take Charlie on the carousel, but he did not seem to like it.

On the way home we stopped and got pizza for dinner, which made David happy.

Just another day of making memories.

The Gift Of Magic

Last year, as my Aunt Sherri is a grown woman who is free to buy her own stuff, I decided not to give her anything for Christmas. Instead, I gave her a day. Well, two days actually.

Harry Potter Days!

We started right with Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s stone at 9:00 AM. And the same way that book starts, we started…

With breakfast.

We did not burn the bacon. There were eggs and toast too.

We moved ahead movie after movie. We had delicious snacks. (I have a Harry Potter Cookbook. I know. I am an odd one.) I made bouillabaisse for dinner with warm bread. The next day we made Caldron cakes for breakfast. (Yes, they are the same as pancakes.) Then still more snacks and a yummy stew for dinner.

We watched all 8 movies. We had presents; a fabulous Time-Turner Necklace, a beautiful leather journal, a real quill pen, Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans and Jelly Slugs.

It was a great weekend.

Way better than just new socks and underwear…

Mickey's Christmas Carol

Every year since we have had our Disneyland Annual Passports, we go at Christmas time and enjoy the holiday atmosphere. This year was no different.

We met up with Mary, Tonya and Abby at Disneyland one afternoon and it was a great day. First we watched the parade. Michelle loves parades.

I love Disneyland at the holidays. The Haunted Mansion is transformed into The Nightmare Before Christmas. The Jungle Cruise becomes The Jingle Cruise. It’s A Small World gets a holiday theme and a break from that annoying song. It is awesome.

But this year we skipped all that for one thing.

This thing.

Michelle wanted to meet Princess Elena. Princess Elena was there as part of Viva Navidad at the California Adventure.

I waited in line for 50 minutes for this.

It was worth it.

Anyway, we walked around a bit and checked out booths they had set up with holiday foods from other cultures. We tried kugel from the Jewish booth and Michelle made a paper dreidel. We tried curry from the India booth and Michelle colored a Diwali card and made a paper lantern. We tried lamb from a Middle Eastern booth and Michelle made Christmas cards. It was fun.

We walked around and looked in the shops at all the fun holiday stuff.

Disney days are always good days.

Rocket Man

The Martian by Andy Weir

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This was one of the best books I read last year. It was funny and exciting. I loved the humor. You would think that one might go to a dark place being alone on a planet with little hope of rescue or survival. But no. It was fun to read. He was so optimistic.

The movie however, not so good. They cut out the humor. It was an okay movie otherwise, but it had more of a sci-fi suspense thing going and I really missed the humor and the optimism.

David and Catherine both read this book as well. Both of them liked it a lot better than the movie.




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Sing For The Moment

Yesterday my Aunt Sherri and Lin took Catherine, Michelle and me to see Sing. It was pretty cute. It was no Disney movie, but it wasn’t the worst movie I ever saw in a theater. (FYI… The worst movie I ever saw in a theater was Drop Dead Fred.)

Michelle liked the gorilla that sang. I was more partial to the pigs. Catherine liked the porcupine.

I give it a 3 out of five.

The best part was spending time with family. Especially since today my Aunt Sherri is undergoing knee replacement surgery.

We are sending her lots of love and healing thoughts.

A Revival

I am sick of social media. Facebook is so full of people who believe everything on the internet. David calls Facebook a bunch of “Dank Memes” and funny cat pictures. Twitter is only useful for news. I use it as my own special news feed. It includes nice things like when Disneyland is open and what movies are coming out. And Instagram is becoming less of family pictures and more of those “dank memes”. I am tired of it. I want to hear about my friends and family. I don’t want to be blasted from both sides with political drama and nonsense. I want to share my life with my family and friends as well. But I can’t do that on Facebook any more. No one will notice between the political drama and the cat pictures. No, I will not copy and paste to show I love America or veterans or cats or my spouse or that I support cancer research or saving the whales.

So I am bringing back the blog. It’s retro. It’s hip. It’s cool. And you know what?

IT IS MINE!

No dank memes.

No funny cat pictures.

NO POLITICAL DRAMA!

Actually, let’s just go with NO DRAMA!

Keep it to yourself.

I am quite excited about this. I finally have a place where I can record my family history in peace. Okay, so I had it all along and I let technology come and jerk me around. You don’t know it yet, but I have already written at least 15 new posts. Yeah. I know.

So get ready.

And seriously, no more dank memes.

New Year?

Motivation....

Do you have it?

I don't know. Maybe.

It's been almost a year since I last updated this. I usually promise myself in January I am going to do this more. I like reading the old posts. The old memories. It is fun. This has been a crazy wild year and no updates.

I suck.

But...

It is January.

So Happy New Year!

S-M-R-T

Why are they called wisdom teeth? Are they supposed to make you smarter?

A few weeks ago, right around New Year’s I got this horrible toothache. A friend at work gave me a Tootsie Pop one night and I figured I must have done something. Maybe I bit it wrong. Maybe the tootsie roll part pulled a filling out. I didn’t know. I just knew it hurt.

So I went to the dentist.

My teeth were fine. No broken ones. No missing fillings. But my wisdom tooth had an infection underneath it and they is where the nerves sit. So the dentist suggested I have my wisdom teeth removed.

I had three. Usually you have 4 but I had to be different. 2 on the bottom and one on top.

This week I had them removed.

My mouth hurt so much.

The top one I didn’t even realize he took it out. One of the bottom ones were easy too. It was that one, the one that had been infected.

It still hurts.

It’s been days.

I couldn’t eat anything. Only cold food. As much as I like ice cream, you just can’t live off of it. It was the longest 24 hours ever. When I could eat real food again. It was hard to chew and I had to take tiny bites.

Carolynn’s turn is next.

Date Night

David’s brother is into basketball. David likes basketball, but he wasn’t really into it. Well, he wasn’t into football either until he got involved with my dad’s fantasy football. Now I can’t get him to stop.

Anyway, he watched a few games on TV and he had watched a few games also on TV a million years ago with my Grandpa. (Grandpa watched all sports. And I mean ALL.) He decided it might be a fun thing for us to do together.

Growing up in my house there was always sports. Baseball, basketball, football. All the time. I have a brother. My dad likes sports. My mom likes some sports. My step dad enjoyed sports. And of course, my Grandpa.

I wasn’t a football fan until my dad got me involved in fantasy football. I like that a lot.

But I was always more about baseball. My grandpa took me to games. Angels and the Tigers. Every year for years. He took me to Dodger games. I took him to a Milwaukee Brewers game. I played Little League. I went to my brother’s Little League games. I had my Dodger shirt. I had my Yankees hat. I liked Angel games. Okay, so I was kind of all over the place.

David is not a baseball fan. I understand. It can be a little boring.

I like basketball too. It is for sure my favorite sport to watch. The action moves fast and it is easy to follow.

For David’s birthday I bought him tickets to a Clippers game. They were cheap. We went and saw them play the Detroit Pistons.

We had so much fun. We got some snacks. We cheered for the team. It went by quickly.

I guess we are Clippers fans now.

YAY! Go Clippers!

We Are The Champions... Or Not

Fantasy Football is over for the year.

I played in three leagues this year.

The one at work was okay. I didn’t win. I didn’t expect to. It might be more fun if I actually saw some of those guys once in a while. I don't love the webiste they use.

My dad’s league was a mess from the get go. The draft happened while I was at work. I got stuck with all the losers no one wanted and it just went downhill from there. So I came in dead last. Oh well. I will get them back next year. However, my brother in law did come out on top of that. My dad sent him this fabulous trophy. My sister tried to claim it as her own, but it didn’t go over too well.

Our own home league gained some new players this year. We had a pretty awesome year. I didn’t do too badly either. But to most of our dismays, David won. Stupid David. Maybe I will divorce him so he can’t play anymore. Sucker.

It was a fun time for all though.

See you all in August!

One Less Set Of Footsteps

This week on Tuesday, my family gathered to say good bye to my Uncle Joe.

It was very nice to see so many people who cared about him and learn some interesting things about my family.

I remember my Uncle Joe from when I was little. I liked going to his house because he had a pool. And I liked my cousins since they were bigger than me and did cool stuff like play baseball and ride bikes. My uncle played guitar so there was always music.

I was not recently close with my Uncle Joe. I remember him from when I was little but, I am not really close to any of that side of the family.

Not anyone’s fault. I just didn’t know them.

Anyway, I am getting to know them now.

After the memorial service, I went to my Aunt Tina’s house to visit with my dad while he was in town. I also got to spend time with my Aunt Tina, my Aunt Mary, who was visiting from Texas, and my cousins.

It was so nice to get to spend some time with everyone.

Too bad we only do it when something bad happens. Maybe we should start planning trips for good times. A large amount of us live in the area… You know, just saying.

Just Getting Fueled

There is a Valero station by my house. Like I can see it from my house.

Convenient?

Nope.

Most of the time I stop there, they are out of gas or the pumps are not working or the card readers are out.

How are you a gas station and you are out of gas?

Between my house and my job I pass that Valero and then another Valero before I head into the next town.

But the other Valero is about the same.

Seriously? How are you even gas stations?

Yesterday on my way to work I stopped at the first one to find it was out of gas. So I stop again at the second one because if I don't get gas I won't make it home. And I am not stopping for gas at midnight.

At the second one, half the pumps are out and the card readers don't work.

Fine.

I go inside and am waiting in a line behind a douche bag in white Oakleys who is buying a ton of Red Bull, Monster and those little red energy shots.

Yeah, he is a heart attack waiting to happen.

So he finally pays and goes out to get in his lifted truck.

I purchase just enough gas to make to work and home and to a real gas station.

I go out to the pump to get my $10 worth of gas.

And nothing.

I go back inside and he put it on the wrong pump.

Luckily he fixes it and no one else took my gas.

I finally got my gas and made it to work.

I don't think I will go there anymore.

A New Year

6 years ago I started a new job that would forever change the ideas I had of what I was going to do with my life. I was excited to begin and learn. Excited about the opportunities it was bringing to my family.

6 years can really change things.

I still have the same job. I no longer am excited. I am usually frustrated by the whole thing. I used to care about my coworkers and now I find a lot of them are no better than inmates themselves. I don’t see good in people. I see inmates.

Not too long ago, I decided to go ahead and try and remove that awful negative part of my existence. Nope, I am not going to get a new job. This one does still provide for my family and provides a lot of great benefits. I just am choosing to not focus on my work.

It made me laugh, because it made me think of it like a call girl and “you are just a paycheck to me”.

It’s just a paycheck.

This is not my life; this is how I pay for my life.

And truthfully, I have a pretty awesome life.

My Perfect Life

My life is perfect.

I work at a job I hate with a bunch of coworkers who really shouldn't be allowed to work there. It really sucks getting up in the morning and going there. But I keep going. Because that is how I pay the bills.

Right now, my house looks awesome. The couches really need to be professionally cleaned. There are used tissues on one end table and a variety of dirty dishes all over the others. There is trash on the floor from a package the baby got in the mail. I can't remember the last time I dusted. The trash hasn't been taken out in two days. The sink is full of dishes. I am positive there are dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and the cat box needs cleaning.

My children are of course, perfect. My two year old didn't get dressed at all yesterday. She can correctly use the phrase “What the Fuck”. She enjoys watching Disney Jr. and when she is driving me nuts I put on a DVD of Disneyland Fun for her. We have seen it like 6 billion times. My middle child has to be constantly reminded to do everything. Shower, get dressed, do your homework... She has no sense of appropriate boundaries and is banned from most forms of internet because of it. My oldest thinks she is better than everyone because she has a little money and gets dressed up to go check the mail.

My husband is also perfect. He didn't take out the trash. He forgot to return the baby's DVD to the library and nearly forgot to pay the phone bill. He spends a lot of time in his underpants and doesn't even notice the messes around him. He plays some stupid thing online with his friends and it makes him sound like a giant ass.

I too am perfect. I have severe anxiety and riding in the car with me is a treat. I am pretty sure I yelled at everyone last week. Mostly my husband and probably half of it for stuff he had no control over or didn't even do. I haven't been dressed in two days and I cant remember the last time I really shaved my legs. Tonight I am making dinner in which parts of it come frozen from a bag. There is probably little nutritional value in some of it.

Yes.

My life is perfect.

Because my adorable baby just announced, it smells good in here. Then she said she loved me.

Because my oldest wrote an essay about how she is proud of her mom for working so hard.

Because my middle daughter says she likes doing stuff with me.

Because my husband is at school getting an education and will come home and watch stupid TV shows and play video games with me. Then he will make sure I have clean uniforms for work tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will go to work and be happy that I am getting paid and have made a few good friends.

Maybe my house will get cleaned. Maybe I will actually try to make some of those healthy recipes I pinned on Pintrest.

But probably not.

My life is already perfect.

A Day In The Life

Bark.

Bark.

Bark.

Bark.

Each individual yap is making it very difficult to sleep. Why can’t the neighbor’s dog bark like a normal dog?

Bark.

Bark.

Bark.

I open my eyes considering the murder of a small dog, when I notice it is awfully light outside.

That can’t be right. My alarm hasn’t gone off yet and I usually get up at 5:00 AM. It’s usually still a little dark.

I roll over and look at my alarm clock.

Nothing.

It isn’t on.

I am now awake. I realize the fan is off and I can’t hear the fan in the baby’s room because the monitor is off too.

No wonder the dog woke me up, it is silent in here.

But… Wait. What time is it? I am going to be late for work.

I run out to the living room and look at David’s phone.

6:20 AM.

I was supposed to be at work at 6:00. I frantically call my supervisor who can’t find me on the roster for the day. Then he finally does and I tell him I am on my way.

I am quickly getting dressed and still trying to figure out why we have no power.

I had paid the bill.

The neighbor’s dog is still barking.

And the power comes back on.

I run outside to get in the car for work and there are Edison crews parked between my house and the neighbor’s house.

And that is why I was late to work.

A Day In The Life

And This Is Why I Always Do My Rounds...

Original News Story from

KCBD NBC 11 Lubbock, Texas

ABILENE, Texas - Former Correctional Officers at Big Spring Correctional Center (BSCC), in Big Spring, Texas, have pleaded guilty to federal charges stemming from a Department of Justice (DOJ) Office of the Inspector General (OIG) investigation that was initiated when an inmate committed suicide in the facility two years ago while they were on duty, announced U.S. Attorney Sarah R. Saldaña of the Northern District of Texas.

Today, Frederick Hernandez, 45, of Big Spring, appeared before U.S. District Judge Sam R. Cummings and pleaded guilty to one count of making false statements and aiding and abetting. He faces a maximum statutory penalty of five years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine. Last Friday, Christopher Moore, 42, of Dallas, pleaded guilty to one count of misprision of a felony. He faces a maximum statutory penalty of three years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine. Judge Cummings ordered a presentence investigation report for each defendant with a sentencing date to be set after the completion of those reports.

According to plea documents filed in the case, from August 22 - 23, 2012, Hernandez and Moore were assigned to the Flight Line Unit in the Special Housing Unit (SHU) at BSCC; Hernandez was the Officer in Charge. Part of their duties included making mandatory 30-minute safety checks of each cell and conducting six mandatory formal inmate counts during a 24-hour period, beginning at 12:01 a.m., 3:00 a.m., 5:00 a.m., 10:00 a.m., 4:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. Each Correctional Officer is further required to certify that the mandatory 30-minute safety check of each cell and the mandatory formal inmate counts were made.

An inmate housed in the Flight Line Unit committed suicide during the 8:00 p.m., to 8:00 a.m. shift on August 22 - 23, 2012, and was discovered during the morning feeding on August 23, 2012.

Hernandez admitted that he completed, signed and submitted to the Department of Justice, as required by law, the "SHU Control Log" forms indicating that formal counts of inmates had been performed from 12:01 a.m. to 5:10 a.m., on August 22 – 23, 2012. Hernandez further admitted he knew the logs were not correct and were false in that the formal counts of inmates were not conducted.

Moore admitted he knew Correctional Officers at BSCC submitted forms to the Department of Justice, as required by law, indicating that safety check rounds were conducted, when, in fact, he knew they had not been conducted. He further admitted that he concealed this fact and failed to advise an authority.

In related cases, two other defendants, James McKinnon, 22, and Jamie Navarette Salgado, 24, each pleaded guilty in September 2013; McKinnon pleaded guilty to one count of misprision of a felony and Salgado pleaded guilty to one count of making false statements and aiding and abetting. In December 2013, McKinnon was sentenced to six months in federal prison and ordered to pay a $500.00 fine. He is presently serving his prison time. McKinnon and Salgado also worked as Correctional Officers assigned to the Flight Line Unit in the SHU at BSCC. Salgado admitted making false entries on logs and falsely indicating he had conducted safety rounds. McKinnon admitted that he knew entries on the logs were incorrect and that he failed to advise an authority.

The Department of Justice Office of the Inspector General conducted the investigation. Assistant U.S. Attorney Paulina Jacobo is prosecuting.

A Day In The Life

Everywhere You Want To Be

On a fabulous day working visiting, a couple came in. They were in their 80’s and the woman was crying. They are there to visit but are afraid they just don’t have the proper documentation.

They tell me how they looked on the website to see what they need. ID is required and the prison will accept…

State Issued ID/ Driver’s License
Passport/Border Crossing Card/Visa
Military ID

The man says he has something, but she doesn’t have anything.

Sorry, there is nothing I can do for them if she has no ID. She is upset. But really, ID is required.

He calmly tells her to relax. He will go in and visit for a short time and come right back out. He fills out his form and hands it to me along with his card.

The lady is still there crying.

She asks me why an American Express won’t work.

What?

Then I look at his ID. It is not an ID at all, but a Visa card. Visa credit card. Not a visa passport card.

Wrong kind of visa.

I tell him and he looks at me like I just said a dirty word.

He and his wife leave in a huff.

He comes back a short time later and presents a military ID. He says his wife had nothing with her except her American Express. He is then processed in for a visit. He doesn’t visit long, as his wife is waiting.

At least he got in.

A Day In The Life

Shortest Fight

So I was walking along, minding my own business.

Actually, I was minding the business of inmates in recreation areas. There were between 2 and 4 inmates in each outdoor recreation area. It was a pretty nice day and inmates were exercising and playing handball and generally enjoying some time outside.

There were two inmates in a middle area that were watching me pretty intently. Of course they think I am too dumb to notice. I am not the only officer out there. There is another officer out there watching as well. He too notices the odd behavior of these two inmates.

They appear to be jogging; around and around in their area. Not talking and watching us.

Each time we pass by they stop.

Finally on the third pass, one of them says to me…

“Hey CO Lady. You think I could fight this guy?” He indicated to the other inmate in his area.

“I don’t think you should. How about you come out of there now?” I signaled to the other officer who had the keys.

Before the officer could get there, the inmate he mentioned walked up and punched the inmate who had been talking to me right in the stomach.

The inmate who had been punched doubled over. I called for other staff as I had no idea what else would happen.

The officer with the keys opened the inner door and the inmate who had been punched walked to the outer door. The officer then closed the inner door, separating the two inmates.

Then the inmate who punched him, went back to his jogging. He didn’t say a word.

More staff arrived and escorted the punched inmate to medical and then back to his cell. They also did the same for the jogging inmate, who seemed unhappy his jogging time had been cut short.

I asked him why.

He said some people just deserve a good punch every now and again.