Today Is The Day

Today is the day. Today is the day I will get a fabulous new job and I will be set on the path to my new life. Of course, I think that every day. Each weekday morning, I get up thinking that today is it. But it hasn’t been yet. So I go to bed each night, thinking tomorrow will be the day. However, tomorrow never comes. Nevertheless, today is the day.

Sleep has become elusive. It is not just the nighttime neighborhood annoyances. I lie in my bed and spend most of the night thinking about all the could have, should have, would have possibilities, slipping in and out of a sleep wrought with strange dreams, until I finally get up. Then I am back to where I started. Today is the day.

Eating has become a challenge. Either I am not hungry or I want to eat everything. If I don’t eat, my body starts protesting. My stomach starts making noises that I am sure can be heard somewhere in Argentina. I try to ignore it because no food sounds appetizing when I feel this way. Eventually, I have to give in and after I feel nauseous. Then the days I want to eat everything. I do not want anything good for me either. I want tacos, burgers, cookies, chips, soda, and candy. I eat and eat until once again, my body protests and my stomach starts churning. Nevertheless, through it all, I try to keep my hope that today is the day.

I send out applications, resumes, references, and letters of interest. I call and I e-mail. I put on my smile despite the fact that I am sure my desperation is plain to all. I interview, tooting my own horn in what I feel is just the right amount. Letting each person I speak to or e-mail know that I will be wonderful at the given job. I use examples specific to the job in question. I am excited and ready to go. Just give me the sign, and I am all over it. Today will be the day.

I go around my house trying to keep the kids excited, keep them moving, and keep them packing. It is going to be a great new adventure. Everything will work out. I say this despite the fact I am sure my panic is getting more and more visible as each day passes. It is getting closer and closer to moving day. It is going to be great because today is the day.

Today is the day. TODAY! I am positive, as always. I smile and I get dressed. I will wear my new Hawaiian print skirt. I got it on clearance to wear to say good-bye to my sister. I will wear it to work today for luck. I will smile at Jo Anna. I will make jokes with Arturo. I will answer the phone with a perkiness I have no idea where I get. I will work my final week in this town. I will be calm and everything will be taken care of when I leave. I do not need to worry. I know that today, today will be the day. That fabulous new job is coming for me.