Friday, February 05, 2010

A Day In The Life

Conversation With An Inmate

An inmate was given razors in which to shave and now refuses to give them back.

Me- (Insert Inmate’s Name Here) what is the problem here? Why didn’t you give Officer (Insert Hispanic Name Here) the razors?

Inmate- He didn’t give me my food.

Me- I can see the container from your dinner right there on the desk.

Inmate- Yes, but he took some of the food and I didn’t get enough. Stupid Mexicans are always doing that.

Me- I am not a Mexican. Can I have the razors back?

Inmate- I want more food.

Me- Okay, I’ll be right back.

Minutes later....

Me- Okay, I brought cereal and milk. Now can I have the razors and your dinner food box?

Inmate- How about I give you a bag of trash and an old sock?

Me- No deal. I want the razors and the box.

Inmate- Are we talking serious cereal or that healthy stuff?

Me- I got frosted flakes here and some milk.

Inmate- Okay, I will give you two ketchup packets and the razors for the cereal.

Me- Deal. Give me the razors and I will give you the cereal.

Inmate- Only if they don’t go to anyone of Hispanic heritage.

Me- Sure thing. Can you see me? I am white as it gets.

Inmate- Yes. Are you a member of SAG? I will only give you these razors if you like good movies.

Me- Oh I love good movies.

Inmate- Okay. Then here are the ketchup packets and the razors. Don’t forget the milk you promised.

Me- I got it right here.


In the end, I got what I wanted… the razors. I didn’t really care about the Styrofoam box. I hear he threw it in the trash the next morning. The inmate had a history of trying to hurt staff by throwing things out at them and other nonsense. He could have used those razors as weapons.

Don’t you wish you had such fabulous conversations at your job?


  1. That's crazy! You're one brave lady! ^_^

  2. Yep, it is crazy. But someone has to deal with the crazies and keep us safe from them.


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