Friday, January 07, 2011

A Day In The Life

Just Shoot Me An Email

I was working in a housing unit, when an inmate began annoying me. As a matter of fact, it was this inmate, so I already had his number.

And he had lost his mind.

“Wow those pants look amazing on you. You must have worn them just for my pleasure.”

“I know your first name. It's Joanne. That is the sexiest name ever.”

“When I get out of here we are going to get together.”

“Come on by my cell and you can give me a real good Christmas present.”

So yeah, he is on his way to Special Housing again. But he is going to go with a bang.

So he is standing in the office door and he tells me he is going to call me later.

Ummm... No. I am certainly not going to tell an inmate my number. Duh.

And the inmate informs me that he doesn't want me to tell him my phone number right there in front of everyone. He want me to email it.

Ummm... No. I am no more likely to give an inmate my email address as my phone number.

But he says he already has my email. So he is going to have his people email me.


And so he tells me that he had this public defender. And the public defender had an email address of (public defender's first initial and last name)@(government agency).gov. From this he surmised that my email would be (my first initial and my last name)@(random prison).gov. And he is right. It is my email address and my first initial and last name are so helpfully printed on my shirt.

Now, I don't tell him he is correct. I just have him hauled off to the Special Housing Unit.

But it doesn't end there. Of course not.

He gets up in Special Housing and there is another female officer there. And he tells her he will have his people email her. He tells her he already has her email: (her first initial and last name)@(random prison).gov. She freaks out and asks he where he got her email address. He tells her he got it from me. She freaks out and sends me an email admonishing me for giving out her email to an inmate.


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