The Return Of Susan

“Is your name Jennifer?”
Yes “Nope, sorry.”
“Really? So what’s your name?”
Jennifer “Susan”
“Susan What?”
“Bowman” (Not even close)
“Hmm… you look familiar. Where did you go to high school?”
Apple Valley “Eisenhower.” (That is where my mom went.)
“What year did you graduate?”
1995 “1992”
“Oh well, you look like a girl I went to high school with.”
“Oh, well, Merry Christmas.”

Yeah, I knew him all right. He and I went to high school together. We were not really friends; he was more of a boyfriend of a friend of a friend. My junior year of high school, I walked in on him and this friend of a friend getting busy in the girls bathroom at school. Being 16, I laughed my ass off, and then proceeded to tell everyone. Yep, I was an ass. Anyway, he and the girl hunted me down later and she yelled at me. She was crying because, as she said, I ruined their first time. Right there in the girls bathroom… in the science building.

Today was my third day of bell ringing for the Salvation Army. I did it last week on Wednesday, but there was not much to say about it. There were few people and it was raining. The people that did come were running to the store or to their cars to minimize getting wet. No one stayed to chat. David did it on Friday. He gathered a lot of money, but no one chatted him up. They were too busy shopping.

Today was a better day. Besides the fabulous person from high school, plenty of old folks chatted. Everyone seems to be tightening his or her belts. One of the old folks that came by today told me he had seen on the news somewhere that the bell ringers were not allowed to ring bells. They had to replace the inside of the bells with paper clips. Another person told me that he heard that people were faking that they were really with the Salvation Army and collecting the money for themselves.

I did not get too many cranky folks today. One woman from K-Mart was rather cranky. She kept telling me I was in her way. She was trying to pull these big heavy carts and she was having trouble. Twice they got away from her and almost hit folks. I would have been in her way down the street.

The worst part about standing out there all day… Smokers. K-Mart people come out on their breaks and other people smoke out there. They stand and smoke, sometimes within feet of my kettle. I am sorry, but that is a disgusting habit. I do not care if you are a smoker reading this, it is nasty. It gives me a headache. It smells terrible. It makes it hard to breathe.

In addition, since many little kids put money in my kettle, I bought a huge bag of Dum Dum suckers to give them. They empty their tiny wallets to help the needy. I give them a tiny lolly. It is only fair.

That is all today.