Friday, November 11, 2011

A Day In The Life

Waiting For Something

I was working one morning watching inmates come and go out of the dining area. I see an inmate kind of lingering around. I know this inmate. I have dealt with him before. I am pretty sure I have seen his penis in a window somewhere.

Anyway, he is skulking around the corridor. He should have gone back to his unit by now. But he went and hid in medical. I go down there to see what the big deal is in medical.

Then I saw. A new contractor nurse was handing out the pills at pill line. She was young and Asian and pretty. She didn't deserve what was coming her way.

So I intercepted.

Medical was cleared and the gate was closed. That same inmate was waiting by the gate with me to get back to medical. I informed him that he would not be going to medical. I told him to wait right there by the wall and not move.

He wasn't happy.

So he unzipped his pants and started masturbating right there in the hallway.


I knew it.

So I march him into the lieutenants office and tell them what he did. He denied the whole thing. Said he would never do that and I was a liar. The lieutenant looks up his history. Hmm. Seems he has done that quite a few times before.

He goes to Special Housing and they strip search him. They find very strategically placed holes in his oversized pants. He has no idea how that could have happened. He was framed.

You believe him, don't you?

At least the nice new nurse didn't have to see it.

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