Denied
Once upon a time, many weekends ago, in a prison camp full of women, I was working. It was visiting.
I was processing visitor's into the visiting room first thing in the morning. Everything was going pretty smooth. Then I get a call.
Apparently, a man had gone to a neighboring institution and went into their waiting area. When the front lobby officer questioned him, he told her that I had sent him over there to get change. He told her the change machine at the camp was broken so that is why he was there. I never sent anyone there. First of all, our change machine was fine. Second, the change machine over there is not in the lobby so he would have had no access.
She didn't believe him either. Besides, she saw him messing around near the trash can.
He left and she immediately went to the waiting area trash and looked. There she found a huge bag of contraband; cigarettes, lighters, lip gloss, fast food items...
She calls the supervisor and tells them what she found and give a description. By the time that man arrives in my line, they are waiting for him. As soon as he walks in, they tell him his visit is being denied because of introduction to contraband. They say no more. He says okay and walks away.
His wife, the inmate, she is not a happy camper. During the count she gets angry with me and demands to speak to the warden. Now.
Yeah, that's not going to happen. It's a weekend.
Besides, why ever would she want to speak to the warden? We had told her nothing. We had told her husband nothing besides that he was denied. And it had only been moments before when he was denied. How could she know?
Because she was watching.
She saw him come in and get in line and then she saw him leave. She also saw the supervisor's come and go. So she called her husband on his cell phone as soon as she could. He told her about being denied. She wanted to know why.
For introduction of contraband of course.
She starts crying and blubbering. It can't be true she says. She goes on about how she doesn't even smoke and would never eat that kind of fast food and she doesn't even wear make up.
Wait. How did she know? We didn't say a thing about that.
She continues her blubbering. She goes on with how it could have been anyone who put that stuff in the lobby of the other institution. Lots of visitors come and go in there. She should know, she works over there as an orderly.
Ah ha!
But what she didn't know... Visiting had been canceled at that institution. He was the only one there.
First thing Monday, we shipped her off to a more secure facility.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Penny Pigs
When Catherine was little she loved to go to PetsMart and look at the guinea pigs and hamsters. She called them penny pigs and hammers, but we knew what she meant. Every time we went in for dog food or whatever, that's the first place she went. David used to work at a PetsMart and she would love to go there to wait for him and spend forever looking.
When she was about 7 or so, every birthday and Christmas, she began asking for one. But I just didn't think she had the amount of responsibility to really take care of one. Catherine is a really smart kid... When it come to school. When it comes to anything else... Her room was always a mess. She couldn't remember to shower. How could she take care of a guinea pig if she couldn't even take care of her own self?
Catherine turned 12 last week. And she has been getting a lot better. She showers regular. (Thank goodness!) Her room is getting better. You can actually see the floor. She has been remembering to feed the dogs. And her home school stuff she has been doing, most of the time, without too much prodding. So for her birthday, we finally got her that guinea pig.
The day before her birthday, David asked if she'd like to open her present a day early. (He was just as excited as she was.) She of course wanted to open it early. We dropped Carolynn off at school and we were eating breakfast at Jack In The Box. We said after we finished our errands and school appointments, we would give her the present.
So we did school appointments, she and David got haircuts, we picked up Carolynn and her friend for lunch. We dropped them back off. Then we went to PetsMart to buy dog food and cat food. Or so she thought. She was so excited about going home and getting a gift that she barely knew what was happening. We got the dog food, cat food and kitty litter in to the cart and we were heading out. David said he was going to find a man to help him get fish for the turtle. Catherine, as usual had wandered over to look at the guinea pigs.
I went to find her and an employee came and asked if we needed anything. It just so happened that the employee knew about the surprise. David and I had gone into the PetsMart a week earlier to scope out prices and find out what all guinea pigs needed. The same lady helped us then. So she already knew when she saw Catherine what we wanted. And when I said yes, Catherine would like a guinea pig, and the lady said she'd have someone come with the keys right away... Catherine was so shocked. And so excited.
She picked out her guinea pig. And then began getting her accessories. Guinea pigs need a cage, pine shavings for the bottom, a house, a water bottle, food, hay, toys... and with out wallets much lighter, Ginny Weasley... Catherine's birthday guinea pig was on her way home.
It took her a little time to get used to us. The cats are constantly circling her cage. The dog would really like to “play” with her. She doesn't mind. Especially not if she has fresh food in her bowl.
When she was about 7 or so, every birthday and Christmas, she began asking for one. But I just didn't think she had the amount of responsibility to really take care of one. Catherine is a really smart kid... When it come to school. When it comes to anything else... Her room was always a mess. She couldn't remember to shower. How could she take care of a guinea pig if she couldn't even take care of her own self?
Catherine turned 12 last week. And she has been getting a lot better. She showers regular. (Thank goodness!) Her room is getting better. You can actually see the floor. She has been remembering to feed the dogs. And her home school stuff she has been doing, most of the time, without too much prodding. So for her birthday, we finally got her that guinea pig.
The day before her birthday, David asked if she'd like to open her present a day early. (He was just as excited as she was.) She of course wanted to open it early. We dropped Carolynn off at school and we were eating breakfast at Jack In The Box. We said after we finished our errands and school appointments, we would give her the present.
So we did school appointments, she and David got haircuts, we picked up Carolynn and her friend for lunch. We dropped them back off. Then we went to PetsMart to buy dog food and cat food. Or so she thought. She was so excited about going home and getting a gift that she barely knew what was happening. We got the dog food, cat food and kitty litter in to the cart and we were heading out. David said he was going to find a man to help him get fish for the turtle. Catherine, as usual had wandered over to look at the guinea pigs.
I went to find her and an employee came and asked if we needed anything. It just so happened that the employee knew about the surprise. David and I had gone into the PetsMart a week earlier to scope out prices and find out what all guinea pigs needed. The same lady helped us then. So she already knew when she saw Catherine what we wanted. And when I said yes, Catherine would like a guinea pig, and the lady said she'd have someone come with the keys right away... Catherine was so shocked. And so excited.
She picked out her guinea pig. And then began getting her accessories. Guinea pigs need a cage, pine shavings for the bottom, a house, a water bottle, food, hay, toys... and with out wallets much lighter, Ginny Weasley... Catherine's birthday guinea pig was on her way home.
It took her a little time to get used to us. The cats are constantly circling her cage. The dog would really like to “play” with her. She doesn't mind. Especially not if she has fresh food in her bowl.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Crash Of The Titans
My car, the Loser Cruiser, has been an extra big loser lately. Why?
David.
Here's a story for you.
I came home from work one day and I was super mad. Fuming. A bunch of inmates had gotten on my last nerve and then some jerk ass co-workers decided to push it further and I was about to explode. Then, when the day ended, I go out to the truck, as I had driven it to work that day, and find the driver's side door was jammed.
Sweet.
I cuss at it and yell at it. Finally, as the passenger’s side door is broken, I jimmied it open and got in and drove home is a seething rage.
I park in the driveway, but not all the way in the garage as usual because I wanted David to come out and fix the door. I get out and go inside still raging and David goes out to fix the door. Which he does in like two seconds. Which only furthers my rage.
A few moments later, David and Catherine get in the Loser Cruiser on their way to some sports practice. The car is parked in the garage. I hear them start the car and then I hear a load bang.
WTF?
I go outside and now David is raging. He backed into the truck.
He didn't hit it full on, as I had parked in the driveway, just behind where I usually park in the garage, which is next to the car. He hit the back passenger side corner of the car into the front driver's side of the truck. Which totally made a huge hole just above my bumper and just under my tail light.
And after some duct tape, it now looks like this.
Sometimes the duck tape wears out and we replace it. As soon as we can afford it, we will get it repaired. It's will be about $250 to fix, plus paint. Thank goodness duct tape is silver.
But until it gets fixed, Super Loser Cruiser.
The truck....
No damage.
I think the sheer coolness of that truck is the only thing holding it together. Serious. That truck will last forever.
David.
Here's a story for you.
I came home from work one day and I was super mad. Fuming. A bunch of inmates had gotten on my last nerve and then some jerk ass co-workers decided to push it further and I was about to explode. Then, when the day ended, I go out to the truck, as I had driven it to work that day, and find the driver's side door was jammed.
Sweet.
I cuss at it and yell at it. Finally, as the passenger’s side door is broken, I jimmied it open and got in and drove home is a seething rage.
I park in the driveway, but not all the way in the garage as usual because I wanted David to come out and fix the door. I get out and go inside still raging and David goes out to fix the door. Which he does in like two seconds. Which only furthers my rage.
A few moments later, David and Catherine get in the Loser Cruiser on their way to some sports practice. The car is parked in the garage. I hear them start the car and then I hear a load bang.
WTF?
I go outside and now David is raging. He backed into the truck.
He didn't hit it full on, as I had parked in the driveway, just behind where I usually park in the garage, which is next to the car. He hit the back passenger side corner of the car into the front driver's side of the truck. Which totally made a huge hole just above my bumper and just under my tail light.
And after some duct tape, it now looks like this.
Sometimes the duck tape wears out and we replace it. As soon as we can afford it, we will get it repaired. It's will be about $250 to fix, plus paint. Thank goodness duct tape is silver.
But until it gets fixed, Super Loser Cruiser.
The truck....
No damage.
I think the sheer coolness of that truck is the only thing holding it together. Serious. That truck will last forever.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thursday, September 08, 2011
Home School 101
School started on Tuesday and it sure has been an interesting proposition. Catherine being home schooled this year makes for some interesting stuff. She is taking 6 classes. Plus I am teaching her about cooking, cleaning and gardening. Her classes are Language Arts, Life Science, World History, Algebra, Literature and P.E. Easy.
The first day went great. She was excited to learn. We did our shopping in the morning and ran some errands. Then we got started. We have made lesson plans going through the first three weeks. I use the curriculum from the school and then I add to it. We add videos, art, science experiments, and anything else I can think of. We went through the curriculum quickly. We watched a video about Pompeii and we read a lot of Harry Potter. It was fun. Day 2 went a little more bumpy. She was excited in the morning. We made cinnamon rolls and ate them while we got started. But there was a bump. Carolynn.
People are getting more and more fed up with traditional public school. They don't have money to pay teachers. Programs are being cut. Classes are over crowded. The school the girls go to is a charter school. They have options for home schoolers plus they have classes. However, this year, the school is FULL. More children than they had anticipated have enrolled and they are currently using a small temporary campus while the permanent buildings are being built. They are set to open for next semester. And until then, there just isn't room. Since Carolynn's facilitator didn't sign her up properly last year for classes, she is doing home school for a few classes. And on Wednesday and Friday, she doesn't have to go to school until afternoon. Carolynn is doing home school for World History, Photography and P.E.
So yesterday morning, not only did Catherine sit down with me to get to work, so did Carolynn. This made for a lot of chatting and Catherine watching Carolynn and petting the dogs and cats and fidgeting around. She just wouldn't focus or anything. It took her forever to get anything done. FOREVER.
I am sure we will work it out as we go. I will say that it is much more fun to home school kids who want to be taught. That semester we home schooled Carolynn when she was in the 8th grade was awful because she fought the whole time. This time we are having fun. Mostly. Sometimes.
The first day went great. She was excited to learn. We did our shopping in the morning and ran some errands. Then we got started. We have made lesson plans going through the first three weeks. I use the curriculum from the school and then I add to it. We add videos, art, science experiments, and anything else I can think of. We went through the curriculum quickly. We watched a video about Pompeii and we read a lot of Harry Potter. It was fun. Day 2 went a little more bumpy. She was excited in the morning. We made cinnamon rolls and ate them while we got started. But there was a bump. Carolynn.
People are getting more and more fed up with traditional public school. They don't have money to pay teachers. Programs are being cut. Classes are over crowded. The school the girls go to is a charter school. They have options for home schoolers plus they have classes. However, this year, the school is FULL. More children than they had anticipated have enrolled and they are currently using a small temporary campus while the permanent buildings are being built. They are set to open for next semester. And until then, there just isn't room. Since Carolynn's facilitator didn't sign her up properly last year for classes, she is doing home school for a few classes. And on Wednesday and Friday, she doesn't have to go to school until afternoon. Carolynn is doing home school for World History, Photography and P.E.
So yesterday morning, not only did Catherine sit down with me to get to work, so did Carolynn. This made for a lot of chatting and Catherine watching Carolynn and petting the dogs and cats and fidgeting around. She just wouldn't focus or anything. It took her forever to get anything done. FOREVER.
I am sure we will work it out as we go. I will say that it is much more fun to home school kids who want to be taught. That semester we home schooled Carolynn when she was in the 8th grade was awful because she fought the whole time. This time we are having fun. Mostly. Sometimes.
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
She doesn't give a shit and she sleep's where she wants.
Muffins (aka IBK)
August 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
White Belt
Catherine has been doing tae kwon do for about a month now. She really loves it. We finally found something just for her. She tried two seasons of softball and three seasons of soccer. She just really didn't like it. The softball scared her and soccer seemed to bore her to death.
She has been working so hard at it. And last week, she earned her first official belt, the white belt.
But first, as a rite of passage, she had to write her name in the air with her butt.
Then she received her belt.
Here she is official. The certificate is really cool.
She has been working so hard at it. And last week, she earned her first official belt, the white belt.
But first, as a rite of passage, she had to write her name in the air with her butt.
Then she received her belt.
Here she is official. The certificate is really cool.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Being Prepared
David's dad sent me an email about being prepared for disasters. Then he sent it again. I figured he meant business. We really should be prepared. We live in the desert near a fault line. Duh. So I got me a big bin and I am starting to fill it up.
I started with food. Dry pinto bean and navy beans. White rice. Cans of tuna and clam chowder. Canned vegetables. Peanut Butter.
I got a tarp. I don't know why. If there was an emergency need for a tarp, I will be ready.
I am going to keep filling. Every time I go to the store, I pick up more.
I started with food. Dry pinto bean and navy beans. White rice. Cans of tuna and clam chowder. Canned vegetables. Peanut Butter.
I got a tarp. I don't know why. If there was an emergency need for a tarp, I will be ready.
I am going to keep filling. Every time I go to the store, I pick up more.
Friday, August 26, 2011
A Day In The Life
Multi-Cultural
One day, on a fabulous day in a very special housing unit, I was passing out breakfast to inmates. At the very first cell I stop at, there are two Hispanic men. One is standing near the door and the other is lying in bed.
I open the trap door and place two breakfast trays inside. The inmate standing close to the door is saying something to me. I can't hear him well. But he is trying to give one tray back.
He squats down and looks at me through the trap. I am not hearing him clearly. His English is not great and neither is my Spanish. Finally I get it. His cell mate is sick and gets a liquid diet. I look up. Sure enough, it says right on the door.
I lean over a bit to tell him that I will go get the special food and be back. I want to be sure he understands and hears me. Inmates get very upset when they don't get food.
That's when I see what he is doing.
The inmate is squatting down, penis in hand, masturbating. I yell. I slam the door. I ask him what the hell he was thinking.
He says... “No habla.”
One day, on a fabulous day in a very special housing unit, I was passing out breakfast to inmates. At the very first cell I stop at, there are two Hispanic men. One is standing near the door and the other is lying in bed.
I open the trap door and place two breakfast trays inside. The inmate standing close to the door is saying something to me. I can't hear him well. But he is trying to give one tray back.
He squats down and looks at me through the trap. I am not hearing him clearly. His English is not great and neither is my Spanish. Finally I get it. His cell mate is sick and gets a liquid diet. I look up. Sure enough, it says right on the door.
I lean over a bit to tell him that I will go get the special food and be back. I want to be sure he understands and hears me. Inmates get very upset when they don't get food.
That's when I see what he is doing.
The inmate is squatting down, penis in hand, masturbating. I yell. I slam the door. I ask him what the hell he was thinking.
He says... “No habla.”
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Charlotte's Web
School is starting soon. Carolynn will be a sophomore this year. (OMG!) Catherine will be in the 7th grade. Catherine will be doing a home schooling program this year. My worry over this is... will she have enough to do? Will she be challenged enough? She isn't always very challenged at school. So I have been trying to think of ways for her to keep busy and continue to learn.
The other day I was at Wal-Mart checking out some plants and we found a spider plant that needed some love. And $1.00 later, Catherine had herself a project. She picked out little red pot and a bag of potting soil and we were on our way.
When we got home she planted her new "friend" in it's new pot. She named it Charlotte.
We found a fabulous home for Charlotte... In the kitchen window. She watered it a bit.
Then she started her plant journal. She wrote about buying her plant and getting it planted. And why she named it Charlotte.
The next day, we planted one of Charlotte's babies in an empty boullion container. And she wrote about it.
I think this is going to be a fun year.
The other day I was at Wal-Mart checking out some plants and we found a spider plant that needed some love. And $1.00 later, Catherine had herself a project. She picked out little red pot and a bag of potting soil and we were on our way.
When we got home she planted her new "friend" in it's new pot. She named it Charlotte.
We found a fabulous home for Charlotte... In the kitchen window. She watered it a bit.
Then she started her plant journal. She wrote about buying her plant and getting it planted. And why she named it Charlotte.
The next day, we planted one of Charlotte's babies in an empty boullion container. And she wrote about it.
I think this is going to be a fun year.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
She made this face when she first saw Catherine playing Dance Central.
July 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
A Day In The Life
Holier Than Thou
One day in a far off magical kingdom, or a federal prison camp for female offenders....
I was working at the camp for visiting. An older inmate was all excited because this very nice gentleman was there to visit. She was like a teenager and she was nearing 60. I thought it was just too adorable. I wondered what such a sweet old lady could have done to get herself into a situation such as that.
Later that day when I had a few minutes, I decided to find out what got her into prison. (Some kind of fraud or tax thing if I remember correctly.) Anyways, while I was reading along, I noticed her file said she was a devout Morman with strong ties in the church. It also said that she and her husband had been married over 30 years and had four sons.
How wonderful of him to still be so devoted to her despite the situation that she was in! And how sweet that she still got all giggly at the the thought of seeing him. There they were in visiting, holding hands on the table (as is the rule) and gazing into each other's eyes. She was beaming and he too seemed so happy to see her.
After visiting ended, she practically floated back to her housing unit.
I was so happy to see that marriage could endure.
The following weekend, another very nice gentleman came to visit this same inmate. I typed his name into the computer and the computer said this man was her husband of 30 years.
No way. Her husband was there last week. Wasn't he?
However, since his drivers license matched and he was approved, I said nothing and he took a seat. I then went to let the inmate in to visit. I eyed her while I searched her and noted the jewelry and such she went in with. But I didn't say anything. She went in and hugged him and kissed them and they seemed happy enough to see her. But not like the other guy.
During visit, another inmate, a younger, more naive inmate, asks me if I noticed that that sweet little old lady had a different husband last week. Yeah, I had noticed.
Curiosity got the better of me and after visit, when I got the sweet little lady alone, I asked her what was up. She burst into tears and begged me not to say anything to her husband about the other man. Apparently, he was the husband's good friend and she and him had been engaging in a secret affair for a good ten years.
Sweet old lady.
One day in a far off magical kingdom, or a federal prison camp for female offenders....
I was working at the camp for visiting. An older inmate was all excited because this very nice gentleman was there to visit. She was like a teenager and she was nearing 60. I thought it was just too adorable. I wondered what such a sweet old lady could have done to get herself into a situation such as that.
Later that day when I had a few minutes, I decided to find out what got her into prison. (Some kind of fraud or tax thing if I remember correctly.) Anyways, while I was reading along, I noticed her file said she was a devout Morman with strong ties in the church. It also said that she and her husband had been married over 30 years and had four sons.
How wonderful of him to still be so devoted to her despite the situation that she was in! And how sweet that she still got all giggly at the the thought of seeing him. There they were in visiting, holding hands on the table (as is the rule) and gazing into each other's eyes. She was beaming and he too seemed so happy to see her.
After visiting ended, she practically floated back to her housing unit.
I was so happy to see that marriage could endure.
The following weekend, another very nice gentleman came to visit this same inmate. I typed his name into the computer and the computer said this man was her husband of 30 years.
No way. Her husband was there last week. Wasn't he?
However, since his drivers license matched and he was approved, I said nothing and he took a seat. I then went to let the inmate in to visit. I eyed her while I searched her and noted the jewelry and such she went in with. But I didn't say anything. She went in and hugged him and kissed them and they seemed happy enough to see her. But not like the other guy.
During visit, another inmate, a younger, more naive inmate, asks me if I noticed that that sweet little old lady had a different husband last week. Yeah, I had noticed.
Curiosity got the better of me and after visit, when I got the sweet little lady alone, I asked her what was up. She burst into tears and begged me not to say anything to her husband about the other man. Apparently, he was the husband's good friend and she and him had been engaging in a secret affair for a good ten years.
Sweet old lady.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
75 Things About Us
Two of my favorite bloggers, Red Lotus Mama and Just One Miss, are doing this blog hop thing so I figured I would give it a go. Besides, if Trisha finds out, she'll probably make me do it anyway. She loves these things.
And just for fun, you not only get 25 things about me.... But also 25 things about our two junior bloggers. Carolynn and Catherine. Three for the price of one. That's the deal of the millennium right there.
And without further jabber...
25 Things About Me... Jennifer
1. No one calls me Jennifer. Except David. My whole family calls me Jenny and at work it's all last names.
2. I work in a federal prison. You might have known that if you are a regular reader. And despite that it is a scary place, I love my job.
3. I have two daughters, Carolynn and Catherine. Carolynn is 15 and Catherine is 11.
4. I have one tattoo. It's a blue rose and it is on my right ankle. I might get some more though. But I can't see spending money on that right now.
5. I was born in San Bernardino, California but spent most of my childhood years in Apple Valley, California. I spent most of my adult years in San Diego... Until I changed careers and moved back to Apple Valley three years ago.
6. I really miss San Diego. Bad. But I can't afford to live there.
7. I have a dog named Gibby. He's a chihuahua and Pomeranian mix. He's three.
8. I love pasta. All of it.
9. And chocolate. It cures all.
10. I love to cook.
11. I love the beach. When I was getting divorced I used to hide out at the beach in Torrey Pines all the time.
12. I have a serious obsession with The Simpson's. Really. I have every season on DVD and the movie. And various paraphernalia.
13. I love all things Disney. And love Disney history and Disneyland.
14. Actually, I love all things history.
15. I sang in a high school choir. But the teacher hated me. Mostly because I hated her.
16. Mexican food also cures all. Especially tacos.
17. I sing show tunes in the car. Or Abba. Carolynn is embarrassed to the core about this. Catherine sings along.
18. I lived in Wisconsin for 3 years. Three long years. Four snowy winters. Three deathly humid, bug covered summers.
19. When I started college, I was a history major with the goal of being a teacher or working in a museum. When I finished it was with a major in Media Communications. I don't even want to try and figure that out.
20. My college education has no bearing on my current career choice. I do write some amazing memos and incident reports.
21. I don't have a belly button. Just a huge scar from the abdominal hernia I was born with.
22. I don't wear bikini's. Even if I wasn't such a chubby.
23. I have a huge scar on my neck from the surgery I had as a baby. It's a long line with dots on the sides from the staples. I tell people it's where I had my Frankenstein bolts removed.
24. I have 1 brother and 2 half sisters.
25. When I was pregnant with Carolynn, I couldn't get enough french fries. When I was pregnant with Catherine, I couldn't get enough pretzels and pickles.
Next...
25 Things About Carolynn
1. Carolynn loves Glee. She loves all the characters and can't wait for the new season to begin. We went and saw Glee Live in Anaheim. Next week we are going to see the Glee tour movie and we even follow The Glee Project.
2. Carolynn's favorite color is green. She also likes purple.
3. Carolynn loves turtles. She has a turtle named Little Dude. He is a red eared slider.
4. Carolynn also loves her cats... Muffins, Two Face, and Betty.
5. Carolynn also loves her dog Bubbles. Bubbles is a mastiff mix.
6. Carolynn is a swimmer. She swims competitively and has for about a year and a half. Her best stroke is freestyle. She doesn't like butterfly too much and breast is her worst stroke.
7. Carolynn loves Dexter. She has seen every episode and has two of the books.
8. Carolynn loves Disney movies. All of them. When she was little she couldn't get enough of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She also loved Beauty And The Beast. (Although she called it Booty and Bees.) Now she claims she can't choose just one favorite.
9. Actually, Carolynn loves all thing Disney. She is wearing an Alice and Wonderland shirt right now and earlier she was playing Epic Mickey on Wii.
10. Carolynn collects Barbies.
11. Carolynn used to run cross country. She has a couple of trophies.
12. Carolynn enjoys playing the Sims 3. A lot.
13. Carolynn says the tacos at Jack In The Box are actually “moth tacos”. She eats them anyway.
14. Carolynn has a pen pal who lives in Illinois. They lived across the street from us when we lived in Wisconsin. We moved away from there in 2005.
15. Carolynn likes cookies and cream ice cream.
16. Carolynn will be a sophomore in high school this fall.
17. Carolynn can get her driver's permit at the end of October. God help us all.
18. Carolynn was born in Apple Valley, California.
19. Carolynn likes superhero movies... Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man, Thor... She even has a Batman poster on her wall.
20. Carolynn wants to be a forensic scientist when she grows up. Or an actress. Or a teacher. Or maybe a doctor. First woman president would be fine too.
21. Carolynn loves pizza. And Panda Express. She wold be fine with that for all eternity.
22. Carolynn loves shows like CSI and Law and Order.
23. Carolynn wears Love Spell from Victoria’s Secret. I think it smells like pineapple Lifesavers.
24. Carolynn wants to see Lady Gaga in concert. Because that would be awesome.
25. Carolynn didn't think I could come up with 25 things about her, but she was wrong.
And finally...
25 Things About Catherine
1. Catherine is going into the 7th grade. That's middle school.
2. Catherine is going to be home schooled for the 7th grade. It's going to be fun.
3. Catherine loves Pokemon.
4. Catherine does Tae Kwon Do. She is about to get her first belt. White.
5. Catherine loves video games. A lot of video games.
6. Catherine's best friends are Dalia and Brittney and they are sisters.
7. Catherine has a beagle named Elvis. She has had him since she was 2. He is an old fat dog now.
8. Catherine was in musical of Aladdin.
9. Catherine loves art. She likes to paint and draw.
10. Catherine played soccer for three seasons.
11. Catherine played softball for two seasons.
12. Catherine wears glasses to see.
13. Catherine was born in San Diego, California.
14. She likes to tell people she was born in a zoo, but technically she was born across from the zoo at Balboa Naval Hospital.
15. Catherine loves her some ham. Seriously.
16. Catherine's favorite movie is Despicable Me.
17. Catherine used to watch 50 First Dates over and over. She did the same thing with Mulan before that and The Jungle Book before that.
18. Catherine once had a cat named Mr. Wiggles. He pooped on everything and we couldn't get him to stop. I don't think he liked being an apartment cat. So we had to give him up.
19. Catherine's allowance burns a hole in her pocket every week. And all she buys is junk.
20. Catherine loves Payday candy bars.
21. Catherine loves cows. She is obsessed.
22. Catherine loves Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows.
23. Catherine once spent a summer throwing themed parties at our house for just us. We had a 70's party with fondue and disco music. There was a tea party with classical music and little sandwiches. There were also a few other ones I can't remember.
24. Catherine loves to watch Food Network. She used to get her party theme ideas from Sandra Lee.
25. Catherine is a straight A student and was in the GATE program at school. (GATE= Gifted and Talented Education)
And just for fun, you not only get 25 things about me.... But also 25 things about our two junior bloggers. Carolynn and Catherine. Three for the price of one. That's the deal of the millennium right there.
And without further jabber...
25 Things About Me... Jennifer
1. No one calls me Jennifer. Except David. My whole family calls me Jenny and at work it's all last names.
2. I work in a federal prison. You might have known that if you are a regular reader. And despite that it is a scary place, I love my job.
3. I have two daughters, Carolynn and Catherine. Carolynn is 15 and Catherine is 11.
4. I have one tattoo. It's a blue rose and it is on my right ankle. I might get some more though. But I can't see spending money on that right now.
5. I was born in San Bernardino, California but spent most of my childhood years in Apple Valley, California. I spent most of my adult years in San Diego... Until I changed careers and moved back to Apple Valley three years ago.
6. I really miss San Diego. Bad. But I can't afford to live there.
7. I have a dog named Gibby. He's a chihuahua and Pomeranian mix. He's three.
8. I love pasta. All of it.
9. And chocolate. It cures all.
10. I love to cook.
11. I love the beach. When I was getting divorced I used to hide out at the beach in Torrey Pines all the time.
12. I have a serious obsession with The Simpson's. Really. I have every season on DVD and the movie. And various paraphernalia.
13. I love all things Disney. And love Disney history and Disneyland.
14. Actually, I love all things history.
15. I sang in a high school choir. But the teacher hated me. Mostly because I hated her.
16. Mexican food also cures all. Especially tacos.
17. I sing show tunes in the car. Or Abba. Carolynn is embarrassed to the core about this. Catherine sings along.
18. I lived in Wisconsin for 3 years. Three long years. Four snowy winters. Three deathly humid, bug covered summers.
19. When I started college, I was a history major with the goal of being a teacher or working in a museum. When I finished it was with a major in Media Communications. I don't even want to try and figure that out.
20. My college education has no bearing on my current career choice. I do write some amazing memos and incident reports.
21. I don't have a belly button. Just a huge scar from the abdominal hernia I was born with.
22. I don't wear bikini's. Even if I wasn't such a chubby.
23. I have a huge scar on my neck from the surgery I had as a baby. It's a long line with dots on the sides from the staples. I tell people it's where I had my Frankenstein bolts removed.
24. I have 1 brother and 2 half sisters.
25. When I was pregnant with Carolynn, I couldn't get enough french fries. When I was pregnant with Catherine, I couldn't get enough pretzels and pickles.
Next...
25 Things About Carolynn
1. Carolynn loves Glee. She loves all the characters and can't wait for the new season to begin. We went and saw Glee Live in Anaheim. Next week we are going to see the Glee tour movie and we even follow The Glee Project.
2. Carolynn's favorite color is green. She also likes purple.
3. Carolynn loves turtles. She has a turtle named Little Dude. He is a red eared slider.
4. Carolynn also loves her cats... Muffins, Two Face, and Betty.
5. Carolynn also loves her dog Bubbles. Bubbles is a mastiff mix.
6. Carolynn is a swimmer. She swims competitively and has for about a year and a half. Her best stroke is freestyle. She doesn't like butterfly too much and breast is her worst stroke.
7. Carolynn loves Dexter. She has seen every episode and has two of the books.
8. Carolynn loves Disney movies. All of them. When she was little she couldn't get enough of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She also loved Beauty And The Beast. (Although she called it Booty and Bees.) Now she claims she can't choose just one favorite.
9. Actually, Carolynn loves all thing Disney. She is wearing an Alice and Wonderland shirt right now and earlier she was playing Epic Mickey on Wii.
10. Carolynn collects Barbies.
11. Carolynn used to run cross country. She has a couple of trophies.
12. Carolynn enjoys playing the Sims 3. A lot.
13. Carolynn says the tacos at Jack In The Box are actually “moth tacos”. She eats them anyway.
14. Carolynn has a pen pal who lives in Illinois. They lived across the street from us when we lived in Wisconsin. We moved away from there in 2005.
15. Carolynn likes cookies and cream ice cream.
16. Carolynn will be a sophomore in high school this fall.
17. Carolynn can get her driver's permit at the end of October. God help us all.
18. Carolynn was born in Apple Valley, California.
19. Carolynn likes superhero movies... Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man, Thor... She even has a Batman poster on her wall.
20. Carolynn wants to be a forensic scientist when she grows up. Or an actress. Or a teacher. Or maybe a doctor. First woman president would be fine too.
21. Carolynn loves pizza. And Panda Express. She wold be fine with that for all eternity.
22. Carolynn loves shows like CSI and Law and Order.
23. Carolynn wears Love Spell from Victoria’s Secret. I think it smells like pineapple Lifesavers.
24. Carolynn wants to see Lady Gaga in concert. Because that would be awesome.
25. Carolynn didn't think I could come up with 25 things about her, but she was wrong.
And finally...
25 Things About Catherine
1. Catherine is going into the 7th grade. That's middle school.
2. Catherine is going to be home schooled for the 7th grade. It's going to be fun.
3. Catherine loves Pokemon.
4. Catherine does Tae Kwon Do. She is about to get her first belt. White.
5. Catherine loves video games. A lot of video games.
6. Catherine's best friends are Dalia and Brittney and they are sisters.
7. Catherine has a beagle named Elvis. She has had him since she was 2. He is an old fat dog now.
8. Catherine was in musical of Aladdin.
9. Catherine loves art. She likes to paint and draw.
10. Catherine played soccer for three seasons.
11. Catherine played softball for two seasons.
12. Catherine wears glasses to see.
13. Catherine was born in San Diego, California.
14. She likes to tell people she was born in a zoo, but technically she was born across from the zoo at Balboa Naval Hospital.
15. Catherine loves her some ham. Seriously.
16. Catherine's favorite movie is Despicable Me.
17. Catherine used to watch 50 First Dates over and over. She did the same thing with Mulan before that and The Jungle Book before that.
18. Catherine once had a cat named Mr. Wiggles. He pooped on everything and we couldn't get him to stop. I don't think he liked being an apartment cat. So we had to give him up.
19. Catherine's allowance burns a hole in her pocket every week. And all she buys is junk.
20. Catherine loves Payday candy bars.
21. Catherine loves cows. She is obsessed.
22. Catherine loves Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows.
23. Catherine once spent a summer throwing themed parties at our house for just us. We had a 70's party with fondue and disco music. There was a tea party with classical music and little sandwiches. There were also a few other ones I can't remember.
24. Catherine loves to watch Food Network. She used to get her party theme ideas from Sandra Lee.
25. Catherine is a straight A student and was in the GATE program at school. (GATE= Gifted and Talented Education)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
Nathan
And his Dad
July 2011
Apple Valley, California
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Reason #4...
As to why I shouldn't be left alone alone when there are puppies.
So yesterday I went to Animal Control to get dog licenses for Elvis and Drizella. Now they are all set for the next three years. Gibby is still good for another year and a half. Anyways, while I was there I saw some kids volunteering. And Carolynn wanted to look at the puppies. So we went back.
Carolynn has been wanting a puppy. Everyone else has their own dog and she has cats. You can't walk cats in the park. Cats don't fetch. We already had three dogs. So I was going to be strong. Unless somehow they had the perfect puppy.
So we get some paperwork on voluteering and we look around. They had a huge iguana and a large white parrot type bird. They had other snakes and lizards. They had rabbits and guinea pigs. They even had a little goat. And they had tons of dogs and cats and kittens and puppies.
I wanted to take them all home.
But I didn't.
Carolynn did it.
**********************************
Dear Mary and Tonya,
We have kidnapped your dog. And somehow it is now a very large puppy and a girl.
Meet Bubbles.
She is a mastiff mix. (Probably with lab.) She is 10 months old. And she is full of energy.
And we love her.
Gibby, Elvis and Drizella are still thinking it over.
So yesterday I went to Animal Control to get dog licenses for Elvis and Drizella. Now they are all set for the next three years. Gibby is still good for another year and a half. Anyways, while I was there I saw some kids volunteering. And Carolynn wanted to look at the puppies. So we went back.
Carolynn has been wanting a puppy. Everyone else has their own dog and she has cats. You can't walk cats in the park. Cats don't fetch. We already had three dogs. So I was going to be strong. Unless somehow they had the perfect puppy.
So we get some paperwork on voluteering and we look around. They had a huge iguana and a large white parrot type bird. They had other snakes and lizards. They had rabbits and guinea pigs. They even had a little goat. And they had tons of dogs and cats and kittens and puppies.
I wanted to take them all home.
But I didn't.
Carolynn did it.
Dear Mary and Tonya,
We have kidnapped your dog. And somehow it is now a very large puppy and a girl.
Meet Bubbles.
She is a mastiff mix. (Probably with lab.) She is 10 months old. And she is full of energy.
And we love her.
Gibby, Elvis and Drizella are still thinking it over.
Monday, August 08, 2011
It's On... Til The Break Of Dawn
One day, not so very long ago, David was cleaning the kitchen. That is his job. And he is really serious about it.
When he does it.
He was cleaning the kitchen. And I decided I wanted some toast. It was morning. I was hungry.
So I made my toast and left the kitchen for David.
Apparently, I left my used butter knife on the counter. This seemed to offend David. I can't imagine why. It's not as if he is Mr. Tidy.
But it offended him to the point of craziness. And so he took the offending butter knife and he placed it on my leg.
And I did this.
Sensing that he was about to get a butter knife shoved somewhere uncomfortable, he removed it from my leg, gave me a napkin and retreated to the kitchen.
But it was too late.
It was on.
Now David does plenty of things which annoy me. And one of those things includes leaving soda cans everywhere.
So we gathered them all and put them right where he could find them.
Sucker.
Now we are even.
When he does it.
He was cleaning the kitchen. And I decided I wanted some toast. It was morning. I was hungry.
So I made my toast and left the kitchen for David.
Apparently, I left my used butter knife on the counter. This seemed to offend David. I can't imagine why. It's not as if he is Mr. Tidy.
But it offended him to the point of craziness. And so he took the offending butter knife and he placed it on my leg.
And I did this.
Sensing that he was about to get a butter knife shoved somewhere uncomfortable, he removed it from my leg, gave me a napkin and retreated to the kitchen.
But it was too late.
It was on.
Now David does plenty of things which annoy me. And one of those things includes leaving soda cans everywhere.
So we gathered them all and put them right where he could find them.
Sucker.
Now we are even.
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Sleeping On My Death Bed
On the day my sister arrived, I woke up with what I thought was a cold. My nose was stuffed. My throat was scratchy. I felt pretty gross.
I was so mad.
So I told that sickness to go away. I decided to exercise it out. I went to the park and walked a few miles. I loaded up on vitamins and orange juice. There was no way I was going to be sick when my sister was visiting. I had great day.
David brought me plenty of tissue and that night I took some TheraFlu and went to bed early. I was sure I won.
The next day, we went to the water park. I thought I felt better. But by the end of the day my head was so stuffed. David had to drive us home. I switched to Nyquil and went to bed. It was just a cold.
I went to work that Friday and Saturday. But by Saturday I was a mess. I couldn't stop coughing. I felt so bad for the coworker stuck in there with me. He has two small daughters and a pregnant wife. I spent a lot of the time wiping everything down with disinfectant wipes.
Finally, I gave up. I called in sick for Sunday. I figured a ton of Nyquill and vitamins and a lot of sleep was all I needed to finally beat this thing.
On Monday morning, I got up and went to work.
Bad idea. I was a mess still. They sent me home.
On Tuesday, I called in sick again. It was offical. I had bronchitis.
Sweet.
I slept all day Tuesday. Most of Wednesday. And parts of Thursday.
Here we are back to Sunday. I am at about 90%. Just a little cough and just a little stuffed. I still get tired easy. But I made it through a couple of days of work.
Next time I think I got a little cold I am just going to check my self into the hospital.
I was so mad.
So I told that sickness to go away. I decided to exercise it out. I went to the park and walked a few miles. I loaded up on vitamins and orange juice. There was no way I was going to be sick when my sister was visiting. I had great day.
David brought me plenty of tissue and that night I took some TheraFlu and went to bed early. I was sure I won.
The next day, we went to the water park. I thought I felt better. But by the end of the day my head was so stuffed. David had to drive us home. I switched to Nyquil and went to bed. It was just a cold.
I went to work that Friday and Saturday. But by Saturday I was a mess. I couldn't stop coughing. I felt so bad for the coworker stuck in there with me. He has two small daughters and a pregnant wife. I spent a lot of the time wiping everything down with disinfectant wipes.
Finally, I gave up. I called in sick for Sunday. I figured a ton of Nyquill and vitamins and a lot of sleep was all I needed to finally beat this thing.
On Monday morning, I got up and went to work.
Bad idea. I was a mess still. They sent me home.
On Tuesday, I called in sick again. It was offical. I had bronchitis.
Sweet.
I slept all day Tuesday. Most of Wednesday. And parts of Thursday.
Here we are back to Sunday. I am at about 90%. Just a little cough and just a little stuffed. I still get tired easy. But I made it through a couple of days of work.
Next time I think I got a little cold I am just going to check my self into the hospital.
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