Running Out Of Ideas

Well, we are down to the last couple of days of NaBloPoMo and I am running on low. I have a bunch of work posts ready to go, but I don't like to do more than one of those a week. The rest of the time I like to pretend I don't work in a prison.

Catherine has a Wordless Wednesday ready for tomorrow to finish off the month. Then she decided we should try and do it for all of December too. We are going to try and do it and give all of our posts titles of holiday songs and movies. We shall see how far along we get before we just run out of ideas. She has two more Wordless Wednesday posts coming after tomorrow too.

We have been so busy around here I am running out of time for things. Only three more weeks and I go back to a normal person's schedule and this place will be running a lot better. It's hard to get in a good routine when you work all nights.

Holiday baking is coming. There is eggnog in the fridge. (Not that I will drink it, because ewww. But Catherine loves it.) Soon it will be time for decorating and presents under the tree. I have done most of my shopping online this year so far.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading this nonsense and for continuing to come back for more nonsense.

Until next time...

Coke For Dinner

This is what you're going to do.

First, you're going to go to the store and buy some pork roast, (about 2 lbs) some BBQ sauce (1 bottle), and some Coke. Next, you're going to put that pork roast in the crock pot and pour in a can of Coke. Let that cook for about 6 or 7 hours. Then drain off the Coke. Shred up the pork with some forks. Then pour on the sauce. Stir it around, heat it through and serve it on a bun.

And it is awesome.

Make yourself some macaroni salad and some baked beans and you got one heck of a dinner.

Unless your name is Gena.

Then you don't like BBQ sauce or beans. But you can drink an entire 12 pack of Coke in one day.

Oh well.

Black Friday

I never went shopping on Black Friday. I always had to work or something. But this year, I got off at midnight anyway, so I figured I would see what it was all about and maybe pick up some good deals for Christmas.

Carolynn came with me because she figured she could get some good pictures for her current class project. David came too because he was concerned for our safety.

We went to the Wal-Mart. There was a line just to get in the store. There were police everywhere. It was crazy. We saw some swim moms there ready to tackle their shopping. They had a plan. I didn't have a plan. I should have had a plan. It should have been to stay home.

After about 20 minutes we finally get inside the store. It was a madhouse. The lines to check out stretched all the way to the back of the store. People had carts loaded with multiple TV's and all sorts of stuff. We went off in search of what we wanted. We found nothing. It had all been picked clean.

We left defeated. We didn't even try to brave the Target. We were scared for our lives.

A Day In The Life

Thankful For The Little Things

The other day an inmate stopped by my office. (It was this inmate, so I was prepared for anything.) He tells me he has a lot of things to be thankful this Thanksgiving.

He is thankful that he will enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner there in prison when there are plenty of law abiding citizens out there that will not get that luxury.

He is thankful that he did not receive the death penalty for the crime he was convicted of. (I believe it was murder.)

He is thankful he lives in America because in other countries when you get convicted of something like that, they kill you right away.

And finally, he is thankful for the opportunity to appeal.

He also informed me that he is starting his own mob because he likes the family camaraderie. And he'll be changing his name to Rico Soprano.

I am thankful that my job affords me so many interesting stories.

Happy Thanksgiving

It doesn't feel like Thanksgiving to me though. I have to work tonight. So we had our Thanksgiving on Tuesday. But it didn't feel like Thanksgiving then either. We still had stuff to do. The world wasn't on Thanksgiving time. Catherine and David had tae kwon do. I had an appointment with the personal trainer at the gym. We enjoyed the morning. We played Monopoly and roasted the turkey. We made all the sides the day before. We ate a fabulous meal. But after that, we all went off to our various activities. Sherri and Taylor came over to enjoy a little Thanksgiving food with us in the evening. And we sent some pie to Chris who wasn't feeling well.

Speaking of pie, this was my first attempt at baking a pie from scratch. And I burnt the first one. Black. But luckily, the second pie came out delicious.

Today, we are relaxing. We made some turkey with rice with leftover turkey. We planned our Black Friday strategy. I get off at midnight, just in time to shop.

Robbie and Gena supposedly are coming this weekend. We are going to make them some BBQ pork sandwiches and a pie for Robbie. (Gena, like her brother, doesn't eat pie.)

I hope you all are having a fabulous Thanksgiving. Think of me tonight while you eat your pie. I'll b spending my night with inmates. Awesome.

Wordless Wednesday

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Thanksgiving Decorations
November 2011
Apple Valley, California

How Hard Can It Be?

I mentioned yesterday that the girls and I were trying some yarn work. We got both crochet hooks and a book and knitting needles and a book as well as several small balls of yarn.

We went over the directions. We watched videos. We had this.

After 24 hours of frustration and hard work...

After all the videos and all the careful examination of diagrams and directions...

We have a knotted ball of yarn.

I just don't get it.

Fail

So today was supposed to be our Thanksgiving. However, I scheduled everything thinking I had a 10-11 lb turkey. It was 16 lbs. So we postponed it until tomorrow.

I tried to bake my first ever pumpkin pie from scratch. I burnt it. Well, the crust was burnt to black, the filling was still liquid.

The girls and I tried to learn to crochet. Inmates can do it, we can too. No, we can't. Seriously. No.

So we thought maybe knitting would be cool. No, no it was not.

I almost forgot to post something. NaBloPoMo fail. OMG!

So, how was your day?

Obsession

Right before Catherine's birthday, she decided that for her birthday she wanted scrapbooking stuff. She never did scrapbooking before but she likes art stuff so it made some sense. Everyone got her scrapbook stuff for her birthday. Especially my dad who works in a craft store and went crazy. She has made a ton of scrapbook pages. She has a whole scrapbook devoted just to her guinea pig.

So I decided to try it too.

And now I can't stop.

I made this page with pictures of my sister's visit.

These are my Carolynn and Catherine pages.

Here are some pages I made at Halloween.

Even Carolynn got in on it. She is sitting at the table scrapbooking right now.

The Christmas Wedding

I got my first book for my Nook on iPad. Well, I got it on accident. I didn't know that Barnes and Noble just let you purchase things without confirming your purchase.

But anyway, I finished it this morning and I really enjoyed it. I liked the convenience of having it available where ever I went. I took it to the gym and read it on the treadmill. I took it to tae kwon do and read it while waiting for David and Catherine. It was nice.

I didn't like that when I finished it, I couldn't lend it to someone else who might enjoy it. I didn't like that I couldn't take it to work with me.

Anyways, the book was The Christmas Wedding by James Patterson. I really enjoyed it. It was a about an older woman who had lost her husband and hadn't seen enough of her kids since his passing. She has a few good male friends who wish to become her new hubby and she agrees. They plan this elaborate wedding to lure the family to gather on Christmas and she won't tell them who she is marrying.

Anyway, I loved the story and I even got a bit teary eyed.

I am still reading A Game Of Thrones. I have been stuck at about half way through for a while. I just can't seem to get into it. David keeps promising that it will get better. Of course he thinks the whole series is amazing.

A Day In The Life

Makes Me Wonder...

I came across this email one day. It is from an inmate to what I can only assume is a lawyer or legal person of some sort.

Did you get the mesage about my request for you to file a motion to the court asking that I be allowed to wear my court clothing while in prison for the purposes of my executive presense.

First of all note the misspelled "message" and "presence". Then note that while this appears to be a question, it does not end with a question mark.

And then ask yourself this..

WHY?

Really? Do you really think that is going to work out for you? Are you really going to clog our court system with that triviality?

Yes, yes he is.

This is one of the many reasons I find my job to be so freaking hilarious.

Tall Boy's Block

I am not a fan of rap music. Really. I like some. Usually some older stuff. I like Eminem. But really, I am just not a fan.

I have a friend who is a rapper. He has a little fan base going. He's written some songs. He even recorded some of them. He is very ambitious. He has done some performances. He has a really cute logo.

He's has hats and shirts made with it. He's not a bad looking guy. And to top it all off, he is a really nice guy. That is the best part.

We got to talking one day and he discovered that I like computers and websites and stuff. He asked me to help him build a cool website for his music. So I did.

I had fun. I learned a whole bunch. With my help, he purchased a domain name, subscribed to a web-host, and purchased a cool template. I put it all together (with David's help) and I have been maintaining it for him. I have also been maintaining his Facebook, My Space and Twitter. It's kind of fun. And I know he appreciates my help.

So if your a rap fan, check out my friend Tall Boy's website at www.tallboy100block.com. Even if your not a rap fan, check out the site and see how I did. I even have a custom email there for website feedback: jennifer@tallboy100block.com.

Wordless Wednesday

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Game Night
November 2011
Apple Valley, California

Check out more of Carolynn's photography on Flickr.

Like The Sunrise

Last night, after months of hard work and dedication, Catherine received her yellow belt in tae kwon do. It's her first belt with color. (She was previously a white belt. Next comes purple belt.) She tested last week. She was so excited to get her new belt.

Here she is getting ready for testing.

And here she is last night receiving her brand new yellow belt from Instructor Tuan.

And here she is, officially a yellow belt.

In other tae kwon do news... David is starting tae kwon do tonight. He will have to work hard to keep up with the other moms and dads... and Catherine.

Icy Feet

It's been so cold lately. Well, not cold to people who live in say.... Buffalo... But cold to me. Our house is so drafty. And since we live in an all electric house, running the heater is almost out of the question. Our highest summer electric bill was $300. That is a lot. I don't want to repeat that for winter. If I dare turn on the heater David turns it right back off. But is is easier to get warm than stay cool.

We have beautiful, hand made quilts that my step-mom made. I have been wearing several pairs of socks at once. Sweats and flannel pajamas are my new buddies.

I like the fall and winter best. I don't like the heat. The heat makes me cranky.

I also have been drinking a lot of nice hot tea. I love British tea best.

Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Irish Breakfast Tea, English Breakfast Tea... I also like green teas and herbal teas. I have been enjoying yummy cups of chamomile at night before bed.

We have been making lots of yummy fall foods. Lots of soups and roasts and warm breads. It's awesome.

Except for the cold feet.

I need more socks.

These Hands Were Made For Washing

I won't say I am some kind of hand washing freakazoid, but I wash my hands a lot. Like other normal people, I wash them after I use the restroom. I wash them after I handle raw meat. I wash them if I get something icky on them.

That last one happens a lot.

Inmates are icky. Their stuff is icky. And I touch them all day. I pat them down. I go through their stuff. Just the other day, I touched a huge stack of disgusting, photo-copied porno. Who knows what was on that.... EWWW!

I have search gloves, but I don't wear them every second. Sometimes there are latex gloves available, but I am allergic. On the rare chance I find some nitrile gloves, I fill my little belt pouch with them. But they never last long.

So needless to say, I wash my hands a serious amount of times a day. I keep these hand sanitizers on me all the time too. I also carry around lotion. The cheap soap they keep at work really dries the skin.

My favorite hand washing stuff comes from Mary Kay... Satin Hands. It makes my hands feel all girly and soft. It also works really good on my feet. It's almost as good as a spa pedicure. Well, not quite, but it is still nice.

I used to sell Mary Kay a million years ago. (I sold Avon too.) My friend Helen sold Mary Kay and I would help her out when I could. (She had Parkinson's, if I remember correctly. That was 12 years ago.) I loved their stuff, but especially the Satin Hands.

Now I get my Satin Hands from my friend Adrienne. She started selling it recently. Check out her online store.

This keyboard is probably covered in germs so I am going to go wash my hands now.

Not crazy, perfectly normal.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I mentioned before that I have been playing fantasy football with some family members. It's my first time playing and I kind of like it.

When my dad asked me to play, I figured I would try it. I didn't know anything about football. (I still don't really.) Sometimes David watches football and we usually watch the Super Bowl for the ads and halftime. I didn't even know players names.

Luckily, all I do is work with tons of men. Men who watch football. Men who play fantasy football. So in the weeks leading up to the start of this I spent a lot of time asking guys I work with a lot of questions.

What the heck is a fantasy football?

How do I know what the good players are?

How do I get good players?

How do they score points?

What teams are good?

First off, you'd think these men had never been asked these questions before and most were super happy to answer. I got so many opinions. Everyone has favorite teams and favorite players. They went on and on and on...

Anyways, by draft day I had a list of player that could be good. That was fun. I was trying to get the best players I could while the rest of my family were trying to do me in.

Players in my league include me, my dad, my step-mom Vicki, my sister Nikki, my cousin Wendy, her brother, my cousin Jerry, his wife Brenda, and Vicki's son, my step-brother Brandon. My team is called “Spanish Inquisition”. Why?

Every week my dad sends out a recap. I love that. It's funny. His team is called “The Stingrays”. He named it after his car. Anyways, it has been fun so far. I lose more than I win. But that's okay. It has been fun anyway. And if I have to lose to people, I am glad it's them. This week I am playing my dear sister. Her team is called “Slick Chicks”. She should have called it “About To Lose” because she is about to.

I am really going to miss this when it is over.

A Day In The Life

Waiting For Something

I was working one morning watching inmates come and go out of the dining area. I see an inmate kind of lingering around. I know this inmate. I have dealt with him before. I am pretty sure I have seen his penis in a window somewhere.

Anyway, he is skulking around the corridor. He should have gone back to his unit by now. But he went and hid in medical. I go down there to see what the big deal is in medical.

Then I saw. A new contractor nurse was handing out the pills at pill line. She was young and Asian and pretty. She didn't deserve what was coming her way.

So I intercepted.

Medical was cleared and the gate was closed. That same inmate was waiting by the gate with me to get back to medical. I informed him that he would not be going to medical. I told him to wait right there by the wall and not move.

He wasn't happy.

So he unzipped his pants and started masturbating right there in the hallway.

Awesome.

I knew it.

So I march him into the lieutenants office and tell them what he did. He denied the whole thing. Said he would never do that and I was a liar. The lieutenant looks up his history. Hmm. Seems he has done that quite a few times before.

He goes to Special Housing and they strip search him. They find very strategically placed holes in his oversized pants. He has no idea how that could have happened. He was framed.

You believe him, don't you?

At least the nice new nurse didn't have to see it.

We're Related

I have a lot of cousins. I mean a lot. Sometimes I can't keep up with how many there are. On my mom's side I have two cousins. But there is a huge age difference. The first one didn't come along until I was 16. We are not close. I couldn't even tell you where they lived. On my dad's side, I have more cousins than I can count. My parent's divorced when I was almost 7. Before that I spent lots of time with them. After the divorce, I didn't see them again.

But that was before.

Now, I have almost daily contact with cousins. I see them on Facebook. We chat and share (or steal) pictures. I am playing in a fantasy football league my dad started with several of them.

Sometimes I am jealous that they are all close and spent lots of time together. Or even the fact that they all know who they are. Especially since I have always lived near them. A lot of my cousins live right here in Southern California. But I am glad I know them now.

I always wanted a big family. I guess I always had one. Too bad I never knew it. And there are more than I even pictured here. How awesome is that??

Wordless Wednesday

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Cooking With Cats
Carolynn and Muffins
November 2011

Season's Change

As soon as the leaves began to change, we went to Big Bear to do some hiking. We had a great time. We all took a ton of pictures. First, we went to the Discovery Center to get some hiking maps and a parking pass. We also got some Big Bear scrapbooking materials. (Scrapbooking is a new obsession of ours.) Then we went to the village. We got some burgers and ate them outside. (We had Gibby with us.)

We walked all around and looked in shops. We got a new bear figurine for our collection. After that we went and did some hiking. We chose a different trail than the last time. It was a nice long hike. It took us over a hour. We had a great time. It's probably going to be too cold to do it again for awhile. Unless we want to bundle up and hike in the snow.

My First Swim Meet

“Weeeeep!” A whistle sounded in the distance.

“Take your mark!” said the man on the speakers.

“Weeeeep!” the final whistle sounded then all you could hear was splashes into the water.

I was there, the smell of chlorine, kids running past us. My first swim meet, I was so excited, nervous, jumpy, I couldn't wait to get in the water and race.

It was March 1st and I was walking up to the school were the meet was. It was really hot outside but I didn't notice, I was to busy looking for my friend Catherine, who was going to show us were our team had set up. Finally I had found Catherine standing next to a big blue truck that served snow cones with painted penguins on the sides. As I headed towards her all I could think was “Yay! I didn't get lost and go to the wrong place”. I looked behind me and David, my guardian, was carrying two chairs and my sister and my mom walked behind him. When I got to the snow cone truck, Angel, a little 7 year old girl on my team, jumped out wearing a blue swimsuit with gray stripes on the sides, with a swim cap with our team logo on her head.

“Carolynn!” she yelled as she ran over to me and took a huge leap towards me to give me a huge hug.

“Angel hey!” I said as I hugged her. Catherine walked up as she finished the last of a text message on her phone and said “sup”, looking up and putting her phone in her pocket.

“Where is everyone?” I said getting tired of carrying my swim bag on my shoulder.

“Ughhhh I'll show you. Come with me” Catherine said as she turned towards the gate.

There was two sides to the gate. One were all the teams had set up with their tents and the other side had the pool and races and little shopping areas. We had two tents in a corner right in the turn of the wall. As I set my swim bag down everyone greeted me saying hi. David and my mom set up the chairs in the middle of both tents and sat down while my little sister spread out out a towel and sat down and played with her PSP. I was to excited to sit so I went off to find my coach Sarah, guessing she was by the pool.

I went with Catherine to find her. Instead of finding Sarah, I found my friend Jared, who was getting ready to race. We wished him luck and stayed on the far end of the pool to cheer him on. As he dove off the block we screamed and cheered with the team. Then all of a sudden Sarah showed up and yelled “GO!”. After I told her I was here and she said I was doing 100m breaststroke, 100m back stroke 100m freestyle and 50m freestyle. We went back to the tent and Catherine's mom, Carrie, told us that the little kids that swim in the morning where running slow, and the older kids would start really late. So I was there really early, but it was okay I had a camera and friends to talk to.

We stayed at the tent taking random pictures, dancing and eating M&M's. Then our friend Thomas came. He's like my little brother (him being 12 in all). We started swimming together and have been in the same lane since. We danced some more and walked around the little swim meet shopping area, while Catherine tolled me about her boyfriend issues and I told her she didn’t even need a boyfriend, shes 12.

When we wondered back to the tent Sarah was there sitting in her chair texting. While all the little kids were sitting around as we left them. Laiken, another little girl on her team was yelling at her dad because he told her to eat something to keep her energy up but she said no. Sarah looked up at us and asked me if some one had showed me the ropes yet. No one had so she and Thomas walked me over near the pool to this big board with slips of paper and they taught me how to read what heat and lane I was in. When we got back to the tent it was finally time to get ready to get in the pool for warm-ups. As we were stretching our friend Alex showed up just in time. After we stretched out we headed out towards the pool it was packed with kids warming up. We jumped in a lane with another team. It was so crowded. When we finished the horrid warm-up Sarah told me to go check the board for my event.

I was so excited when I walked over there and saw my name on that board, I was so ready to race. I walked back to the tent to get my parents and tell them what heat and lane I was in. Finally, after hours of waiting. I got to go to the side of the pool were the timers and blocks were. Finally everyone was going to cheer for me.

As I was standing behind the blocks waiting Thomas and Alex walked up and said I looked so nervous. Frankly I was. So Thomas said “Pretend there is really good pizza on the other side of the pool, or really good Panda Express”.

As soon as he was done saying that our coach Sarah walked up. “Carolynn you look so scared. Come on, jump up and down get those juices flowing.” So me and her jumped up and down waved our arms and looked really stupid.

Then I was one person away from racing so I walked up. Thomas wished me luck and Alex said, “Don't worry you'll do great.”

I stepped up to the blocks. I took my mark and jumped off the blocks for my 100m breaststroke. I went as fast as I could 4 laps in the pool. When I stopped everyone was still screaming and the timers were saying that was a good job. When I got out I couldn't feel my legs. I went to get my time and I had got a white time which is considered slow. The times go white, red and then blue, which is the fastest color time. Then it goes into other faster times, such as Junior Olympic times. Then Sarah appeared and said I needed to go check the board for my next event which was almost next.

I went and checked and got my heat and time and walked back to the blocks and got ready for my 100m backstroke. Once again I looked so nervous. I thought I was going to faint. “Whats wrong?” Sarah said behind me. “You look like your about to throw up.”

“I'm nervous” I said.

“What? You have nothing to be nervous about. You know why everyone wanted you to do meets?” I shook my head and she went on “Because we all knew you would blow people away with what you can do in that water. So go get in that water and go.”

I walked up to the block and and got in the water and waited for the whistle for us to go. When the whistle sounded we took off and swam. I was so nervous I forgot that my goggles weren't on right and when we went off my goggles filled with water. I did that race practically blind, but when I finished I had a red time.

All that I had left was two more races; 100m freestyle and 50m freestyle; the two races everyone wanted to see me do the most. I was so excited. My friend Thomas was standing there waiting with me. ”Okay Carolynn, get a blue time or no pizza for you!” he said.

“Okay I'll try” I said smiling.

I walked to the block took my mark. I leaped off the block and tried my best. When I finished I had a red time, but it was so close to a blue time.

Finally the last race had come, the 50m, the one that everyone was sure I was going to do good in. I waited at the blocks a little less nervous then earlier and waited for the whistle to tell us to get up on the blocks. Then the guy on the speakers said, “Take your mark.” loudly. This was it the last race, and all the things I needed to remember went through my head: no breathing on the first stroke, no breathing into the wall, only breathe when have to, don't false start.... no pressure right?

Beep! We all jumped off the blocks and I sprinted as fast as I could. It was so fast, I could hear every one screaming for me to go. When I hit the wall all the rest of the kids were still swimming. They were half way down the pool when I looked and they were still flip turning when I finished all I could think was that I have to pee. When I got out I walked over to the tent for the first time since I started the races and everyone said good job. I said “Thanks. Be back, got to pee!” and ran to the bathroom as everyone laughed.

When I walked over everyone told me I was one second away from a blue time. Catherine's mom was packing up said “Catherine has been trying to get red times for a year and you got them without trying.” All the parents agreed. I packed up from a great day and went home and ate everything and went to bed.

Today I have one blue time, shooting for December invitationals, and lots of red times and some white. Most of the people on my team, including me, have switched teams with a new coach . We've all been getting faster and trying harder. I'm still always nervous before I race but I know if I go in, try my best and have fun, I’ll always do good. My new coach says I have the potential to be a great sprinter and I’m working hard on it.

Everyone Should Have One

Yesterday David turned 24. We didn't do much celebrating since I had to work and the girls had school and tae kwon do. Chris and Sherri took him out for pizza and bought him cupcakes. I made him spaghetti. (I'm Italian. When something happens I make spaghetti.) But we will do something extra special when we can. That's the part about being an adult is sometimes birthdays just have to wait.

David is the best. He is super great with the kids. He cheered at various soccer and softball games. He's watched countless hours of swimming and tae kwon do. He has driven to various swim meets and cross country events. He has waited outside of schools, seen every play and and every choir performance.

He keeps the house sort of tidy most of the time. The laundry is usually done and the dishes are usually clean. He helps kids with homework and still has time to do his own.

He always listens when I have a bad day. Or a good day. Or I just feel like talking to him. Though he does point out stories I have already told him. Which is not cool. But I let it slide. He gets along with my family and friends.

No matter what happens, we always have our David. I think we will keep him.

Get your own.